Just in Time: August's Contest
UPDATE: Comments closed... the winner will be announced... um, eventually.
UPDATE: It's 9/8! The contest ends tonight at midnight... I'll accept about five more entries before closing the comments.
UPDATE: We're at about 80% as of 1 PM CT on 9/3... room for about 20 more submissions...
UPDATE: The entry limit halfway point has been hit as of 9 PM CT on 8/31... there's room for about 50 more submissions!
Hello my dear friends -
How's this for the last minute? I vowed I would run one contest a month between now and the Lost series finale in May 2010, so here's what we have for August:
Think up a witty caption for this classic Lost image from "The Constant" and send it in (via the comments link immediately below this post) by September 8th:
Now here are all of the other rules, please read them carefully!
- A panel of judges (consisting of a few friends I will bribe into helping me out) will choose the winner. I will NOT be picking the winner because I'd be too stressed out about hurting people's feelings. I don't need to worry about angry Lost fans firing flaming arrows at me or threatening to beat me with their Jesus sticks.
- It doesn't matter how long the caption is, but I'd venture to guess that if it's more than a few sentences, you'll probably lose the attention of the judges. It also doesn't matter if the caption has anything to do with Lost. All that matters is whether the judges think it's funny and/or clever enough to win.
- In the immortal words of Jeff Probst from Survivor: "Wanna know what you're playing for?" The winner gets to pick between a Kate action figure and a Shannon action figure (both new, unopened and in their original packaging. Click the links in the next sentence if you're interested in the specifics; scroll down to the product details section). If you don't want to take home Kate or Shannon (get your minds out of the gutter), please don't enter. Or I guess you can still send in a caption, but at least add in "Just doing this for fun, I don't want to win" somewhere in your comment. Otherwise you'll invite bad Dharma karma, I'm sure of it.
- Very important: If you win this contest you will be out of the running to win some, but not all, of the other nine contests I'll hold over the coming months. So once again, if you don't want a Kate or Shannon action figure, please don't enter or please indicate you're not interested in the prize.
- This contest is open to anyone in any country.
- Only one submission per person.
- If two people enter in a similar caption, only the first submitted will be up for consideration.
- Only entries on this blog via the comments section below this post will be considered -- Tweets or Facebook comments will not. I have to keep this easy for my judges. There will be Facebook and Twitter-based contests in the future.
- This contest will close on midnight Central Time (Chicago time) September 8 OR upon receipt of 100 entries, whichever comes first. I want everyone who enters to actually have their caption read, and if there's more than 100, well, that might be tough. I will provide updates at the top of this post and on Twitter if I'm nearing that mark.
- Finally, let's keep it clean, folks, let's keep it clean. I have some young readers out there, so if your captions are nas-tay then I'll just delete them in order to save future generations from being influenced by your perversity!
Geez, you'd think I was giving away a lifetime pass on Oceanic Airlines or something! Sorry for all of the rules, but my experience is that sometimes peeps go a little crazy when there's free stuff at stake. I appreciate your patience and understanding.
A huge thank you to long-time LLL reader Scott Moore, who makes up one-half of Dr. Awesome (which is indeed an awesome -- and hilarious -- site, check it out), for suggesting this contest idea to me.
I'll be back shortly after September 8 to announce the winner... in the meantime, have those of you in the Chicago area RSVP'd for Zap2Locke Con? Details are in the post below this one, and you can RSVP either on this event page (preferred) or by sending me a comment/email if you aren't on Facebook. We reeaaaaally need people to let us know if they'll be coming (you can RSVP "Maybe," too) just so we can ensure we have enough space staked out.
It's less than three weeks away and I'm really excited for it, so I hope I can see you there.
Until then, good luck with the caption contest!
- e
106 comments:
"Thank God Penny, get me out of this crapy island, far away from shannan and kate action figures"
Hehehe... Just for fun, looking forward for the next contest...
Hugs, from Madrid, Spain.....
"Yeah, I'm watching the LOST ABC Promos brotha. Hilarious yea?"
So I'm your "constant". Don't forget the milk.
-Penny
"I'm so happy to talk to someone else other than these crazies on this crappy island, I'll even buy whatever you're selling!"
Not only did Desmond's toy phone give hilarious Sesame Street quotes, it also tasted like Kool-Aid when he licked it...
"Yes, brotha. I can hear you now!"
"I just made the connection between the Smoke Monster and the Island Latrine. My god, Penny, it's bloody awful!"
"OMG?! I'm gonna be on Extreme Makeover? Thank god, I'll get rid of this beard in time for the new season!"
Wait, you DO want to change your long distance carrier? At last!
"Penny! I've made it through to Hollywood!"
I'm so glad you called - yes, I really would love to purchase an extended warranty on my boat!
Yes I heard you were going to be on Flash Forward. I have some great news myself. Darlton told me I'm in their new show "Crossing Nash Jordan Bridges" I'm so psyched!
"Please Penny, don't forget the condoms"
No, I don't know the phone number here. You Can't call me back. Can you still deliver the pizza?
"Show me the Money!!!, Penny
"Hello? Yes, am I the 108th caller? I am!? I'm so happy! I won what? A trip around the world in a sailboat!? BRILLIANT!
"Hello? Is it me you're looking for? 'Cuz I wonder where you are, and I wonder what you do. Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?"
Brotha, its your brotha!
"You won't belive this Pen, but i've been in this hatch for years typing in the same bloody numbers every 108 minutes!"
"I am sorry Penny...I am in love with Erica..."
(Just for fun!)
"I tried to order a bloody pizza over bloody internet for the last 3 years, brotha!!
So I figured i could try it by phone... I take the pizza number 4 8 15 16 23 42......"
"..so you say you can deliver a pizza in under 30 minutes? Free if not? You're on, brutha!"
I swear to you, Penny, the sign said "3 Hour Tour"! How could I have known the weather was going to get rough?
Penny! I think I left the iron on!
it's 3am, and the Others are invading the homeland...
WHY DOES HE LOOK SO HAPPY?
LINUS/SMOKEY '12
Well, my name is Desmond...but my friends call me.....Desmond.
WHOA...Charlie--So your flight was cancelled???...OK_ I'll meet ya at the old meeting place for some Dharma Beer and shrimps on the barbie, then you can die!
Can you hear me now brotha!?
"Yes, I CAN hear you now!"
"Ready to help you for the million dollar question, brother!"
Penny, "I don't know much, but I know I love you..."
Desmond's not here, Mrs. Hawking......
Desmond can't wake up, Mrs. Hawking.....
Desmond's gone away, Mrs. Hawking.....
"Please insert another $2.00 in American coins to complete your call as dialed."
"...So I don't even have to push the Easy Button??? That's bloody wonderful!"
ET... phone home, Brutha!
If you've had a dose of a freaky ghost, you'd better call
Ghostbusters!
Let me tell you something
Bustin' makes me feel good
"I'm sorry if I seem overly emotional..it's just that you do NOT know how long I have been waiting for Verizon FIOS to be available in my area."
Oh My God, you guarantee a pizza delivery in under 30 minutes brotha????
Yes, Yes, Thats right. Two. [hand over mouth piece]"Penny we got the last two tickets for comic con"
Penelope ... who's Penelope ... the bloody hatch van gogh'ed my ear, brotha !!!
"I just saved $500 on my auto insurance brotha!"
Well thank you, yes I'm Scottish.....
Thank you Mr. President, I am doing my best to save the world.
"Did you hear, Penny?! They'll make a Twilight Zone episode out of me!!"
"Are you serious brotha? I can save up to 15% on my car insurance, just by switching to Geico?!"
"Me? Caller number ten?"
"I know, Jack, I just saw Penny and she's put on A LOT of weight while I've been pushing the button"
"It's Red, I wanted a Pink Phone, Waaaaaaaaa!"
(Computer Animated Voice): Your call cannot be completed as dialed... please check the number and try again....
You mean, no more bad hair days with Prell?!
Maybe a great magnet pulls
All souls towards truth
Or maybe it is life itself
That feeds wisdom
To its youth
Constant craving - KD Lang
"I sorry Pen. What did you say? There's are guy in here screaming for his life and I didn't catch that last bit. Oh, yeah . . . long face . . . horse. . . Ha ha ha."
After only talking a mere thrity seconds with his lover who he had not seen in three years, Desmond was immediatly reminded why he left in the first place.
867-5309... Who's Jenny? I was calling for Penny.
Operator: 911, What's your emergency?
Desmond: Where do I begin? There has been a plane crash...
"Congratulations! You're the 15th caller! You won front row tickets to Drive Shaft!" (Just for fun.)
Erika, is that you sista??
What do you mean "I lost my house" brotha?
What World Economic Crises, brotha?
(just for fun)
There is a space for me back in the monastery?! Great brotha, sign me up! My last adventure didn't work out too well.
What? That napalm DID kill the gigantic monster from outa space?
Desmond is asked if he wants to enroll in Sprint's "Friends and Family" plan with disasterous results...
Hello Brotha! Is that Directory Enquiries? Can you give the number for a Jewellers near the Island? I need to buy another ring!!!
"It was unbelievable, Penny! I got to meet Terry O'Quinn!"
(Just for fun.)
Suddenly realizing who he was talking to, Desmond was thankful he accidently picked up the batphone.
Can you hear me now?
"Constant state of alert? DEFCON 2? 4-8-15-16-23-42....brotha I don't know what you mean by launch codes!"
Hello, is this the radio station? Can you please play Freebird?
you stupid DJ, I said to play "Freebird", NOT "Don't worry be happy!"
What do you mean, you've been sending me Tweets the past 108 days????
Desmond was overjoyed to hear that the last four seasons of the X-Files were saved on Penelope's Tivo.
DEESS-MMONND! D for Darlton, E for Erika, M for Michael, O for Other, N for Naomi, D for Dharma.
What?
No, no, no, don't transfer me....
(Just for fun)
Batman had really let himself go and was not happy with the batphone ringing all the time!
Desmond: "Let me be your motha lover...brotha"
Justin Timberlake: "It would be an honor to be your new step father!"
You found the beef?
"Hold up...Mom, are you telling me I won an action figure from Long Live Locke? FOR RIZZLE??!!"
So you can see us from your balcony window? Its killing me, I know tomorow send over Jacks Dad that will really perterb them.
Glad to be caller 108, but I dundt undastand why the trip only comes with a one-way ticket!
"Hello, is this Dharma Customer Satisfaction and Astrophysical Hunger Avoidance Research Department?
I'd like to place an order for food pallet drop with extra peanut butter, because my friends Claire here loves it so much, at the following coordinates...21°28′N 157°59′W"
For those of you who are curious, those coordinates are for Oahu, Hawaii, which is the filming set for Lost.
Desmond: "Yes mum, I won the beauty pageant!"
No....I didn't see the Harlem Globetrotters on the island....and stop calling me Gilligan !!
Ya say you've got bonnie Prince Albert in a can, then? Well, you'd better let him out, brotha!
Is this my broker? I've had a vision brotha, buy 100,000 shares of Citibank!
Forgot to add (just for fun)
Yes, mate, make it a large with pepperoni and deliver it to the island!
I wait 3 years to talk to you, skip thru time to get your number and all you can tell me is that you saved 15% on your car insurance !?!?
"THAT'S how 'Our Mutual Friend' ends? Aye, well, thanks for spoilin' me..."
Little did Desmond know that the call was coming from a phone made of coconuts, made by a castaway on another island.
What do you mean I'm being sued for sexual harassment!!!!
"Oh my god...you found it! Someone finaly found my ear?"
First Neil Frogurt with a flaming arrow to the chest and THEN Phil with a pipe? Who needs a constant!
You say this is Ed McMahon? And I've won Brutha?!?
"I'm tired of seeing you in another life brotha, get me out of this bloody snow globe!"
"No, Brotha. I don't think the Zack Morris style cell phones are out dated. Spot on, I love the color orange. Remember to send the ear muffs, my lobes are freezing."
benshog@aol.com
Muffled voice from the phone: Simon says hold your right ear.
Des: That's great fun, Pen, but I really need to tell you something.
Mouffled voice: Ah, Ah. Simon Didn't say to speak. Now, Simon says make only your right eye water.
Yes, Barack, I am doing fine. So glad I found this red phone outta here.
"What? . . . No, this is NOT Chief O'Hara . . . NO, I am not Comissioner Gordon. I'm afraid you have the wrong Red Phone number."
"Yah found my red stapler that matches my red phone!"
(reference from the movie Office Space)
"I..you mean Desmond comes back to the Island?! I have a job again! Yes!!"-Henry Ian Cusick
Aaaahh, Thank God for that. Locke's not dead after all.
(Just for fun)
"Pen-eh! Pen-eh! As long as I press this phone to mah ear and hold mah other one shut - my brain stops dripping out of them, Pen-eh! Don't hang up Pen-eh!I know I keep saying this shit but I mean it this time!"
::Penny hangs up::
::Desmond's time-traveling-brain slides out of his auditory orifices and he falls to the floor, dead.::
:( Aw, this made me sad. I really like Desmond. Why am I such a weirdo?
P.S. My caption was just for fun! Sorry I forgot to mention that before!
Is that really you, Pen?! I've been living spoiler-free on a crazy island these last three years. So please don't tell me anything about the last two seasons of LOST!
Thank you for calling the Dharma Initiative. To save the world please press 4 8 15 16 23 and 42.
Forgot to add Just For Fun.
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