Monday, August 31, 2009

Just in Time: August's Contest

UPDATE: Comments closed... the winner will be announced... um, eventually.

UPDATE: It's 9/8! The contest ends tonight at midnight... I'll accept about five more entries before closing the comments.

UPDATE: We're at about 80% as of 1 PM CT on 9/3... room for about 20 more submissions...

UPDATE: The entry limit halfway point has been hit as of 9 PM CT on 8/31... there's room for about 50 more submissions!


Hello my dear friends -

How's this for the last minute? I vowed I would run one contest a month between now and the Lost series finale in May 2010, so here's what we have for August:

Think up a witty caption for this classic Lost image from "The Constant" and send it in (via the comments link immediately below this post) by September 8th:



Now here are all of the other rules, please read them carefully!

- A panel of judges (consisting of a few friends I will bribe into helping me out) will choose the winner. I will NOT be picking the winner because I'd be too stressed out about hurting people's feelings. I don't need to worry about angry Lost fans firing flaming arrows at me or threatening to beat me with their Jesus sticks.

- It doesn't matter how long the caption is, but I'd venture to guess that if it's more than a few sentences, you'll probably lose the attention of the judges. It also doesn't matter if the caption has anything to do with Lost. All that matters is whether the judges think it's funny and/or clever enough to win.

- In the immortal words of Jeff Probst from Survivor: "Wanna know what you're playing for?" The winner gets to pick between a Kate action figure and a Shannon action figure (both new, unopened and in their original packaging. Click the links in the next sentence if you're interested in the specifics; scroll down to the product details section). If you don't want to take home Kate or Shannon (get your minds out of the gutter), please don't enter. Or I guess you can still send in a caption, but at least add in "Just doing this for fun, I don't want to win" somewhere in your comment. Otherwise you'll invite bad Dharma karma, I'm sure of it.

- Very important: If you win this contest you will be out of the running to win some, but not all, of the other nine contests I'll hold over the coming months. So once again, if you don't want a Kate or Shannon action figure, please don't enter or please indicate you're not interested in the prize.

- This contest is open to anyone in any country.

- Only one submission per person.

- If two people enter in a similar caption, only the first submitted will be up for consideration.

- Only entries on this blog via the comments section below this post will be considered -- Tweets or Facebook comments will not. I have to keep this easy for my judges. There will be Facebook and Twitter-based contests in the future.

- This contest will close on midnight Central Time (Chicago time) September 8 OR upon receipt of 100 entries, whichever comes first. I want everyone who enters to actually have their caption read, and if there's more than 100, well, that might be tough. I will provide updates at the top of this post and on Twitter if I'm nearing that mark.

- Finally, let's keep it clean, folks, let's keep it clean. I have some young readers out there, so if your captions are nas-tay then I'll just delete them in order to save future generations from being influenced by your perversity!

Geez, you'd think I was giving away a lifetime pass on Oceanic Airlines or something! Sorry for all of the rules, but my experience is that sometimes peeps go a little crazy when there's free stuff at stake. I appreciate your patience and understanding.


A huge thank you to long-time LLL reader Scott Moore, who makes up one-half of Dr. Awesome (which is indeed an awesome -- and hilarious -- site, check it out), for suggesting this contest idea to me.


I'll be back shortly after September 8 to announce the winner... in the meantime, have those of you in the Chicago area RSVP'd for Zap2Locke Con? Details are in the post below this one, and you can RSVP either on this event page (preferred) or by sending me a comment/email if you aren't on Facebook. We reeaaaaally need people to let us know if they'll be coming (you can RSVP "Maybe," too) just so we can ensure we have enough space staked out.

It's less than three weeks away and I'm really excited for it, so I hope I can see you there.

Until then, good luck with the caption contest!

- e

106 comments:

Laura said...

"Thank God Penny, get me out of this crapy island, far away from shannan and kate action figures"
Hehehe... Just for fun, looking forward for the next contest...
Hugs, from Madrid, Spain.....

Alisha Rene' said...

"Yeah, I'm watching the LOST ABC Promos brotha. Hilarious yea?"

Jean-Fran├žois forget said...

So I'm your "constant". Don't forget the milk.
-Penny

maven said...

"I'm so happy to talk to someone else other than these crazies on this crappy island, I'll even buy whatever you're selling!"

Phil said...

Not only did Desmond's toy phone give hilarious Sesame Street quotes, it also tasted like Kool-Aid when he licked it...

jason said...

"Yes, brotha. I can hear you now!"

bongzilla said...

"I just made the connection between the Smoke Monster and the Island Latrine. My god, Penny, it's bloody awful!"

Murat said...

"OMG?! I'm gonna be on Extreme Makeover? Thank god, I'll get rid of this beard in time for the new season!"

Terri said...

Wait, you DO want to change your long distance carrier? At last!

Marsha said...

"Penny! I've made it through to Hollywood!"

My name is Jodie. said...

I'm so glad you called - yes, I really would love to purchase an extended warranty on my boat!

Jonathan said...

Yes I heard you were going to be on Flash Forward. I have some great news myself. Darlton told me I'm in their new show "Crossing Nash Jordan Bridges" I'm so psyched!

Keila said...

"Please Penny, don't forget the condoms"

steve said...

No, I don't know the phone number here. You Can't call me back. Can you still deliver the pizza?

Gageblackwell said...

"Show me the Money!!!, Penny

doug... said...

"Hello? Yes, am I the 108th caller? I am!? I'm so happy! I won what? A trip around the world in a sailboat!? BRILLIANT!

Billie said...

"Hello? Is it me you're looking for? 'Cuz I wonder where you are, and I wonder what you do. Are you somewhere feeling lonely, or is someone loving you?"

Mair said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Delilah said...

Brotha, its your brotha!

Neil said...

"You won't belive this Pen, but i've been in this hatch for years typing in the same bloody numbers every 108 minutes!"

Odysseas said...

"I am sorry Penny...I am in love with Erica..."
(Just for fun!)

Davide said...

"I tried to order a bloody pizza over bloody internet for the last 3 years, brotha!!
So I figured i could try it by phone... I take the pizza number 4 8 15 16 23 42......"

ChuckG said...

"..so you say you can deliver a pizza in under 30 minutes? Free if not? You're on, brutha!"

Nicole said...

I swear to you, Penny, the sign said "3 Hour Tour"! How could I have known the weather was going to get rough?

Matt Frye said...

Penny! I think I left the iron on!

ty said...

it's 3am, and the Others are invading the homeland...
WHY DOES HE LOOK SO HAPPY?
LINUS/SMOKEY '12

Wainman18 said...

Well, my name is Desmond...but my friends call me.....Desmond.

Sue said...

WHOA...Charlie--So your flight was cancelled???...OK_ I'll meet ya at the old meeting place for some Dharma Beer and shrimps on the barbie, then you can die!

Dan Gerson said...

Can you hear me now brotha!?

Sketh said...

"Yes, I CAN hear you now!"

Grasiento said...

"Ready to help you for the million dollar question, brother!"

El Gato Volador aka Richard said...

Penny, "I don't know much, but I know I love you..."

Reylloc said...

Desmond's not here, Mrs. Hawking......
Desmond can't wake up, Mrs. Hawking.....
Desmond's gone away, Mrs. Hawking.....

effikponna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jim said...

"Please insert another $2.00 in American coins to complete your call as dialed."

insomniac1313 said...

"...So I don't even have to push the Easy Button??? That's bloody wonderful!"

Anonymous said...

ET... phone home, Brutha!

Anonymous said...

If you've had a dose of a freaky ghost, you'd better call
Ghostbusters!

Let me tell you something
Bustin' makes me feel good

effikponna said...

"I'm sorry if I seem overly emotional..it's just that you do NOT know how long I have been waiting for Verizon FIOS to be available in my area."

Lisa said...

Oh My God, you guarantee a pizza delivery in under 30 minutes brotha????

Nats said...

Yes, Yes, Thats right. Two. [hand over mouth piece]"Penny we got the last two tickets for comic con"

clyde devins said...

Penelope ... who's Penelope ... the bloody hatch van gogh'ed my ear, brotha !!!

Jenny said...

"I just saved $500 on my auto insurance brotha!"

tomwilson24 said...

Well thank you, yes I'm Scottish.....

Pen2 said...

Thank you Mr. President, I am doing my best to save the world.

Kathleen said...

"Did you hear, Penny?! They'll make a Twilight Zone episode out of me!!"

KFell said...

"Are you serious brotha? I can save up to 15% on my car insurance, just by switching to Geico?!"

ShellyS said...

"Me? Caller number ten?"

JenC said...

"I know, Jack, I just saw Penny and she's put on A LOT of weight while I've been pushing the button"

Bernie said...

"It's Red, I wanted a Pink Phone, Waaaaaaaaa!"

lpartrick said...

(Computer Animated Voice): Your call cannot be completed as dialed... please check the number and try again....

David Zupko said...

You mean, no more bad hair days with Prell?!

Julia Zupko said...

Maybe a great magnet pulls
All souls towards truth
Or maybe it is life itself
That feeds wisdom
To its youth
Constant craving - KD Lang

LotteryTicket said...

"I sorry Pen. What did you say? There's are guy in here screaming for his life and I didn't catch that last bit. Oh, yeah . . . long face . . . horse. . . Ha ha ha."

Jeremy said...

After only talking a mere thrity seconds with his lover who he had not seen in three years, Desmond was immediatly reminded why he left in the first place.

Charles Dalton said...

867-5309... Who's Jenny? I was calling for Penny.

Neiljul said...

Operator: 911, What's your emergency?
Desmond: Where do I begin? There has been a plane crash...

Joseph Newton said...

"Congratulations! You're the 15th caller! You won front row tickets to Drive Shaft!" (Just for fun.)

Anonymous said...

Erika, is that you sista??

pejafor3 said...

What do you mean "I lost my house" brotha?
What World Economic Crises, brotha?

(just for fun)

Graham Flaherty said...

There is a space for me back in the monastery?! Great brotha, sign me up! My last adventure didn't work out too well.

mukk said...

What? That napalm DID kill the gigantic monster from outa space?

Anonymous said...

Desmond is asked if he wants to enroll in Sprint's "Friends and Family" plan with disasterous results...

Anonymous said...

Hello Brotha! Is that Directory Enquiries? Can you give the number for a Jewellers near the Island? I need to buy another ring!!!

Joseph Newton said...

"It was unbelievable, Penny! I got to meet Terry O'Quinn!"

(Just for fun.)

Jesse D said...

Suddenly realizing who he was talking to, Desmond was thankful he accidently picked up the batphone.

Don said...

Can you hear me now?

Mr. Green said...

"Constant state of alert? DEFCON 2? 4-8-15-16-23-42....brotha I don't know what you mean by launch codes!"

Anonymous said...

Hello, is this the radio station? Can you please play Freebird?

tim said...

you stupid DJ, I said to play "Freebird", NOT "Don't worry be happy!"

ramoness said...

What do you mean, you've been sending me Tweets the past 108 days????

DHAMurray said...

Desmond was overjoyed to hear that the last four seasons of the X-Files were saved on Penelope's Tivo.

Ed said...

DEESS-MMONND! D for Darlton, E for Erika, M for Michael, O for Other, N for Naomi, D for Dharma.
What?
No, no, no, don't transfer me....


(Just for fun)

Glen said...

Batman had really let himself go and was not happy with the batphone ringing all the time!

dwtenent said...

Desmond: "Let me be your motha lover...brotha"

Justin Timberlake: "It would be an honor to be your new step father!"

Anonymous said...

You found the beef?

NHakim said...

"Hold up...Mom, are you telling me I won an action figure from Long Live Locke? FOR RIZZLE??!!"

Nats said...

So you can see us from your balcony window? Its killing me, I know tomorow send over Jacks Dad that will really perterb them.

Brad said...

Glad to be caller 108, but I dundt undastand why the trip only comes with a one-way ticket!

Phone News said...

"Hello, is this Dharma Customer Satisfaction and Astrophysical Hunger Avoidance Research Department?

I'd like to place an order for food pallet drop with extra peanut butter, because my friends Claire here loves it so much, at the following coordinates...21°28′N 157°59′W"



For those of you who are curious, those coordinates are for Oahu, Hawaii, which is the filming set for Lost.

georgerodriguez25 said...

Desmond: "Yes mum, I won the beauty pageant!"

Mark Kelley said...

No....I didn't see the Harlem Globetrotters on the island....and stop calling me Gilligan !!

TMGL said...

Ya say you've got bonnie Prince Albert in a can, then? Well, you'd better let him out, brotha!

Michael said...

Is this my broker? I've had a vision brotha, buy 100,000 shares of Citibank!

Michael said...

Forgot to add (just for fun)

teach3 said...

Yes, mate, make it a large with pepperoni and deliver it to the island!

JohnC said...

I wait 3 years to talk to you, skip thru time to get your number and all you can tell me is that you saved 15% on your car insurance !?!?

Joyce Saenz Harris said...

"THAT'S how 'Our Mutual Friend' ends? Aye, well, thanks for spoilin' me..."

max_jaybo said...

Little did Desmond know that the call was coming from a phone made of coconuts, made by a castaway on another island.

LostFan said...

What do you mean I'm being sued for sexual harassment!!!!

sfj3 said...

"Oh my god...you found it! Someone finaly found my ear?"

aquaboy1976 said...

First Neil Frogurt with a flaming arrow to the chest and THEN Phil with a pipe? Who needs a constant!

Matt Frye said...

You say this is Ed McMahon? And I've won Brutha?!?

sTEEEVE said...

"I'm tired of seeing you in another life brotha, get me out of this bloody snow globe!"

BenW said...

"No, Brotha. I don't think the Zack Morris style cell phones are out dated. Spot on, I love the color orange. Remember to send the ear muffs, my lobes are freezing."

benshog@aol.com

BenW said...

Muffled voice from the phone: Simon says hold your right ear.

Des: That's great fun, Pen, but I really need to tell you something.

Mouffled voice: Ah, Ah. Simon Didn't say to speak. Now, Simon says make only your right eye water.

cgicgi said...

Yes, Barack, I am doing fine. So glad I found this red phone outta here.

SKID said...

"What? . . . No, this is NOT Chief O'Hara . . . NO, I am not Comissioner Gordon. I'm afraid you have the wrong Red Phone number."

oceanick6 said...

"Yah found my red stapler that matches my red phone!"

(reference from the movie Office Space)

DirtyJersian said...

"I..you mean Desmond comes back to the Island?! I have a job again! Yes!!"-Henry Ian Cusick

Anonymous said...

Aaaahh, Thank God for that. Locke's not dead after all.

(Just for fun)

Joan Crawford said...

"Pen-eh! Pen-eh! As long as I press this phone to mah ear and hold mah other one shut - my brain stops dripping out of them, Pen-eh! Don't hang up Pen-eh!I know I keep saying this shit but I mean it this time!"

::Penny hangs up::

::Desmond's time-traveling-brain slides out of his auditory orifices and he falls to the floor, dead.::

:( Aw, this made me sad. I really like Desmond. Why am I such a weirdo?

Joan Crawford said...

P.S. My caption was just for fun! Sorry I forgot to mention that before!

karmavore@editout."heatpost".com said...

Is that really you, Pen?! I've been living spoiler-free on a crazy island these last three years. So please don't tell me anything about the last two seasons of LOST!

Wanders said...

Thank you for calling the Dharma Initiative. To save the world please press 4 8 15 16 23 and 42.

Wanders said...

Forgot to add Just For Fun.