S6Ep15 - Across the Sea

Hello my dear friends -

I had mostly positive responses to last week's real-time blog, so I'm doing it again tonight.

Here we go!

---

Some chick is floating at sea. I am pretty sure it's Jacob and the MIB's mommy.

Now she's washed up on shore. And pregnant. Yep, it's Mama! Maybe she was the FIRST person to have ever landed there? Now some other chick is offering to help. She looks familiar -- like she was one of the professors in the Harry Potter series or something. No idea what language that is. They're now eating, and Mama's name is Claudia. Uh... now a switch to English? What up with that? Who cares, it's easier for us. The other chick is saying she also got there "by accident." I think that other chick is the original Rousseau-like badass of the Island. I also realized it is Allison Janney, who was on The West Wing, but I never watched that show, hence my confusion.

Uh-oh... labor time. It's a boy... and I'm pretty sure another one will be coming REAL soon. Cause, um, that belly's still quite large. Yep, duh. Well, even though that chick's name is NOT Rebekah, I'm still wondering if we're gonna finally hear if this is Esau. DAMMIT - she only picked one name. I'm loving the light and dark wraps for the two babies.

UH --- WHAT?!?! Claudia just got straight-up STONED by that Rousseau lady. The crunches were enough for me -- didn't need to see anything at all for that to be waaaay too gruesome for my liking.

It's a commercial break and I just want to say that I think it'll be hilarious if we never learn MIB's name. I don't think we will. I never thought we were going to, anyway.

---

OK, now some kid's on the beach and found a weird brick thingy. He's in black so it's gotta be MIB. And yep, there's Jacob, and the box is a game. And those kids aren't very strong actors.

(BTW, this confirms that the blond kid we've seen recently in present-time on the Island IS Young Jacob, as many of us thought.)

Now Jacob's back with Crazy Fake Mama and she's weaving. Jacob's not a very good liar. Next... Crazy Mama's with MIB on the beach and I was happy to see that sea turtle because those sea turtles really do hang out on that beach in Oahu! That was probably the producers' little shout-out to the turtles and/or locals in Hawaii. Classy. Anyway, Crazy Mama tells Lil' MIB (that sounds like an awesome new rapper) that Jacob "doesn't know how to lie... he's not like you."

She told Lil' MIB he was "special." And that there was nowhere else but the Island, and that he didn't have to worry about dying. But Lil' MIB sure was asking a lotta questions. Methinks he got all the brains in the family.

---

Next we see the two young bros enjoying a boar-chasing session through the jungle. Yet someone else spears the boar before them. Clearly in all their years they've never encountered anyone else on the Island. I think the dude they see through the foliage looks like Desmond's old hatch partner, Kelvin. But it was hard to see. All I know is that those peeps had on funky clothes with sweet, HUGE belts that would put any cowboy in Texas to shame. And I'm not really sure what they did with that boar.

The boys run to tell their Fake Mom what they just saw. Lil' MIB is asking a TON of questions again. But Mama just blindfolds them and is leading them somewhere else. She ... uh, wait. What is THIS? What is this glowing light cave?

HOLY HOLY HOLY MOTHER there are going to be elves!!!! I TOLD YOU PEOPLE!! I bet it's just like Lothlorien from Lord of the Rings in that cave. And it is going to rock.

OK, maybe not. But that light thing is really reminding me of the Pulp Fiction briefcase. This is quite a bizarre turn for the show. So is Crazy Mama like a witch or sorceress or something? Was she ALWAYS there? How can she make it so her "sons" can't hurt each other? And a warm glowing light that is in each person that they have to protect? Um... that's NOT the way I thought this show was gonna go! Fo' sho! But you know me, I can roll with it. It helps that I believe in that kind of stuff. Anyway, one of the two bros is going to have to be the Protector of the Light. We all know who it's going to end up being. I bet we're soon going to learn WHY it was him.

---

Commercial break: I'm sure you guys all caught that Mama gave the same speech the MIB did in the Season Five finale about how men come to the Island and corrupt things and it "always ends the same," right?

Right now I'm wondering why she doesn't want them to know that there's anything outside of the Island. I mean, I guess she just never wants them to leave... but I'm wondering if it's because she HAS been off of the Island and knows what "the real world" is like... or if she has always been on the Island and is therefore just afraid of the unknown.

----

Now the bros are playing the black/white stone game again. They're talking about "rules" and how one day Jacob can make up his own game and his own rules. (Was that just THE explanation for The Rules?)

Yo -- Lil' MIB just saw Real Mom. Jacob can't see her because she's dead... yet Lil' MIB can. Hmmm. She's taking him across the Island to "show him where he came from." Now he's looking at a little hut village. Real Mom is droppin' ALL sorts of knowledge on poor Lil' MIB. I feel pretty bad for him, actually. He knows his whole life has been a big lie.

Now Lil' MIB is trying to convince Jacob of the truth. But Jacob will hear none of it. He starts throwing the beat-down on his bro's skull. Damn. Crazy Mama comes to break them up and tells Lil' MIB that he can never leave the Island, even if he goes to live with "the other people" (I kind of like the origin of "the Others"! But how did they come to be under Jacob's rule, though?)

Lil' MIB takes off. Now Jacob and Crazy Mama are on the beach and she confesses to killing Real Mom. She said she needed to keep them safe from the "bad people," and that she needed Jacob to remain "good." But Jacob sensed that his fake mom loved MIB more and called her out on it. She said she loved them in "different ways." This is all really bizarre.

----

OK, now we're back... with the Jacob we've come to know. And he is a-weavin'. Crazy Mama is "tired." I'm guessing she's gonna kick the bucket soon, though she doesn't appear to have aged this entire time. Jacob's spying on the Others and sees his bro working on building a well or something. Now they've reunited for a game o' stones. Jacob says he's wondering if MIB's people are "bad." Oh, and apparently they're about 43 years old now. MIB says the people ARE bad, but he thinks they're his ticket off the Island.

Now he's explaining how they made all the wells because they noticed how "metal behaves strangely." And that they found something BIG. He said he wants Jacob to come with him off the Island, but Jacob's all sad and insists that he doesn't want to leave, because the Island is his home.

---

Jacob runs off and tattles to Crazy Mama about MIB's plans. I'm liking Jacob less and less. Crazy Mama is not pleased. She sneaks up on MIB in the bottom of the well. I am pretty sure he will end up killing her. I mean, she's going to try and stop him from leaving. Is he building the Frozen Donkey Wheel, by the way?

Holy crap. He IS building the FDW. By harnessing the Glorious Light and all of this other stuff that I don't really understand, but it's all good. OK, one of them WILL KILL EACH OTHER, and, um, we know MIB is still alive when Richard comes droppin' in, so... they're hugging, and he says good-bye, and it's GOTTA be coming.

Wait, what? SHE is the one to slam his head into the wall? (What's with all the skull-crushing in this episode, geez!)

---

Commercial break: So I'm thinking maybe she has the power to save MIB before he totally dies... or has the power to bring him back to life, or something.

---

Now Crazy Mama is leading Jacob back to the Glorious Light. She literally "passes the torch" to him to be the protector. "Life, death, rebirth" is down in the cave. "It's the heart of the Island." But she doesn't ever want him to go down there. "It would be much worse than dying -- much worse." Now she's got wine and she's chanting. Yep, she is a sorceress. What if Gandalf shows up? Hey, at this point, it really could happen. There is some weird crap going on in this episode.

Now if Jacob drinks the wine he officially becomes The Protector. Aww, I feel bad for him because he knows his mom wanted MIB to be the one for the job. She tries to convince him that it really was always going to be him (Jacob) that she picked, it just took a while for her to realize it. Nice. He's like "Ah, hell, what else do I have to do?" and finally drinks the wine. I'm assuming that will freeze his age? "Now you're like me."

---

MIB is alive! With a wicked migraine, but alive nonetheless. The well appears to be all filled in. He sees burning off in the distance. Uh-oh. All of his hut village has been destroyed and all of his peeps have been killed. He finds his beloved game in the rubble. And he cries and does a Darth Vader-ish At the End of Star Wars Episode III "NOOOOO!!!!" gesture, cursing the heavens.

---

Commercial break: So... did Jacob kill all of those people? He doesn't seem like the type. Crazy Mama does, of course... but at some point he's going to need to take over completely. Did drinking the wine make fill him with some sort of rage that will make him do whatever is necessary to protect the Island?

I'm hoping that next we will get to see how MIB came to be able to turn into Smokey, and why the ash will contain him, and all of that weird stuff.

---

OK, we're back. Crazy Mama is still alive. She really doesn't seem to have aged at all. I think she must be going off to die, though, because she sent Jacob to get firewood and just had that "I'm going off to die" look about her. Now she's slinking around MIB's camp. She has the game, is looking at the stones... maybe SHE is one of the Adam and Eve skeletons? And ... yup, yup, there it is. MIB killed her. A big ol' stab in the gut. But she thanked him for killing her. Maybe that's the only way she could've died -- if one of the boys did it? Maybe she really had been alive forever? Maybe it wasn't possible for her to die before finding a replacement for herself?

Uh-oh. Jacob is on the scene. He's back to tackling and beating MIB's face in just like back in the day! Now he is dragging his bro through the jungle. UH-OH. OH CRAP. We all know what's coming. HE IS GOING TO THROW HIM IN THE GLORIOUS LIGHT CAVE. He thinks that will be a fate worse than death, and that is what he thinks his brother deserves. Clearly, this will be how MIB becomes Smokey.

Jacob sends MIB traveling down the stream. That might've been a mistake. HOLY #%(#*%* -- Smokey came CHARGING out. By far the best part of this episode! That was really cool.

---

Now Jacob sees his bro back in human form, lying on the rocks in the stream. He thinks he's dead. He feels bad and is crying. He throws the MIB's body over his shoulder, and then places him in the cave. Wait a second -- now they showed the Jack/Kate flashback just for all the non-hardcore fans who don't freakin' even remember the cave skeletons. That is kind of annoying me. If you can't remember one of the show's biggest mysteries -- you don't deserve to have it spoon-fed to you. Grrrr. Well... and that's how it ended. MIB and Crazy Mama ARE Adam and Eve. I don't have a problem with that answer, but I do have a problem with how it was revealed. I could've done without the Season One flashbacks. Because I'm a Lost snob like that!

---

WHERE MY HEAD IS AT

This episode was a pretty big letdown, in my mind. Don't hate on me for saying that! I guess it was going to be hard to follow last week's awesomeness, but still... "Across the Sea" fell very flat to me. And I feel like with only 3.5 hours left, they are definitely NOT going to explain the ash situation (why ash is able to hold Smokey back). Nor do I feel they will make the MIB/Smokey connection any clearer. My interpretation is that Smokey and the MIB were separate entities. By Jacob throwing MIB into the Glorious Light Cave, he "corrupted" the light a bit, and Smokey was created as a result. Smokey was what killed the MIB. So the MIB was laid to rest in the cave, and was clearly DEAD dead. Because, um, his skeleton is still there in the present time -- Hurley and Jack just came across it, remember?

So to me this means that Smokey was born because Jacob tampered with the Glorious Light Cave, and then Smokey was able to take the MIB's form -- and memories -- because he was not properly buried. But Smokey is Smokey, and the MIB is dead. So that guy who was sitting with Jacob at the end of Season Five? That's not really the MIB, it was Smokey in the MIB's form. But apparently the writers believe that Smokey and the MIB's goal (to get off of the Island) is one and the same, and so I guess we can just kind of substitute Smokey for the MIB, and vice versa. It actually raises more questions than it answers, but I'm too tired to think about it anymore. I accept it. Not really sure why Jack only thought the bodies had been there like 40 or 50 years, either. OK, I gotta let this go.

I'll leave you with a few other "How will it end?" theories from guaranteed spoiler-free people. If you missed my Bonus Post this past weekend, I wrote what I think will happen over the remaining hours here.

My Aunt Sue's theory: She is 100% convinced that the alternate timeline will win out, that the Alt 815ers will remember all of their Island experiences and live happily ever after and all remain friends, and that the Island was merely a way for them to redeem themselves and learn from their mistakes. She was shocked that I thought it could end any other way. "Why would they do anything else?" she asked, truly befuddled. I said, "Aunt Sue, a lot of people want it to end on the Island, including me. They feel the Island is its own character." She replied, "But then a bunch of people would be dead? Don't you want everyone to be alive? I just can't believe they would not give everyone a happy ending -- I think it will upset a lot of people if they don't." I told her that she better get ready to be upset. I mean, it's not like I don't want all of the 815ers to be alive and happy and whatnot, but I just can't see everything ending like that. I just can't. But I do believe that my Aunt Sue represents the vast majority of "normal" fans, so who knows. Maybe I'm just too deep into the theories and I am not seeing the easier, simpler way for everything to come to a conclusion.

My brother: My brother thinks what a lot of people think and what I've mentioned here on the blog before: Jack will be Jacob's replacement and that Fake Locke will remain as the new MIB, and that the series will end with them having the "Do you know how badly I want to kill you?" conversation. However, the twist with his theory is that he thinks Real Locke WILL break through near the end and will plead with everyone that it's really good ol' Locke again, but no one will believe him. So there will be a glimmer of Real Locke for a bit... but by the time the final scene rolls, the MIB/Smokey will have taken over once more. That would crush me.

My sister-in-law: She believes that the alternate timeline will win out, and that everyone will still retain their Island memories and know that they played a part in bringing the MIB under control. She thinks that "the end" that Jacob and the MIB referred to in the Season Five finale can only come when Jacob finds a replacement... and as soon as Jack takes over, that means Jacob "won," and the MIB will effectively be destroyed and the Island will then cease to exist. Jack will have proved that there's still hope for humankind.

OK, that's enough with the theories. Just so you know, I'm not going to be posting any more theories from here on out. Because, um, next week is the penultimate episode and it's kind of pointless. So there's no need to email me your theories, is what I'm sayin'. ; ) I don't have time to read them the rest of this month, anyway! (The book is coming along swimmingly, by the way -- thanks for asking. You WERE asking, right?)

Time for bed... so I will leave you with this funny story from my best friend, Nerdy P:

"I told my mom that the Lost finale was on Sunday 5-23, because I knew she would just assume it was Tuesday, and not pay attention to any commercials or anything. She says, "Oh no, we have euchre club that night - I will have to TAPE IT ON THE VCR!""

(For you non-Midwesterners, Euchre is a type of card game. And yes, some people apparently still use VCRs. Get a DVR, my VCR-using readers! It will be the best money you've ever spent.)

"Then she told one of the other guys in their euchre club, because he loves Lost, and he says, "NO, I must watch it in real time - we need to move up the dinner and card-playing so we are DONE by 9 pm!" He shoots off an email to the organizer, and SHE gets all offended, saying she has never been rescheduled for a TV SHOW, and thinks they should just cancel. Emails flew back and forth with all kinds of drama, and my mom calls me saying - ARE YOU SURE it is Sunday, because YOU started all of this!!"

Nerdy P told me that eventually the group did get it figured out, and everyone's happy. (And I gotta give a shout-out to Nerdy P's mom, MW!)

So JUST IN CASE one of you out there missed it... the finale is SUNDAY, May 23. From 9 - 11:30 PM EST. There will be two hours of recaps beforehand, and a live Jimmy Kimmel show with most of the cast for an hour immediately afterward. Five and a half hours of LOST!!! And then, it's over.

Until next week,

- e