S6Ep11 - Happily Ever After

Hello my dear friends -

Well, I had a good run... but it's come to an end. While I was able to keep up with my Lost recaps much more than I thought I would at the beginning of the season, my project-juggling skills have finally reached their limits. From here on out, until the finale, I'm going to have to keep things especially short and sweet. In case you missed this post, I have a book manuscript due in mid-May, and at this point it needs 99% of my energy.

So... here are my overall thoughts on and random remarks about "Happily Ever After."

- When Des woke up and Widmore was explaining where he was, did you catch that little twitch on Des's face near his mouth? I was like, "Oh, lord, he is going to UNLEASH!" And that's of course what happened.

- For once I was semi-right about something... last week I guessed that Des was needed because he'd turned the failsafe key and had absorbed some sort of electromagnetic property within himself. And that does look to be the reason Widmore needs him. This week we only saw them testing Desmond to see if he could still withstand an EM surge... so it's still not clear exactly what else Zoe and her team are trying to accomplish with Desmond's help. Since Widmore mentioned "sacrifice," the obvious guess is that whatever they intend to use Desmond for will kill him. I'm envisioning dropping him down into one of the Island's other electromagnetic pockets or something like that. But I still don't really understand why... I don't understand what doing something like that would achieve... unless Widmore needs everyone to go back in time AGAIN and either 1) not detonate Jughead, 2) not ever let Charlie turn off the blocking signal and/or not ever let Jack make contact with the freighter, or 3) something else. But since Widmore controlled the freighter, #2 doesn't really make sense. Hell, NONE of it makes sense. Anyone have any ideas as to what exactly Widmore is trying to use Desmond for and more importantly, why? If it doesn't have to do with "undoing" something, what could he be up to? Is there something related to the electromagnetic energy that Widmore suspects will rid the Island of the MIB once and for all?

- Once Des went into the EM surge I knew we'd see Alt Flight 815 again. But the weird thing was that when Des paused at the arrival board, Flight 815 was the only flight showing no status. In light of everything else that happened in this episode, I found that odd -- like maybe it's a clue that this timeline is still in "flux" status -- more on that later. (And remember in my premiere write-up I mentioned that Des had a wedding ring? Well, clearly he's not married in the Alt. So either that was just a production error or something SO bizarre is going on that it is totally beyond my abilities to decipher.)



- I also was not surprised to see Des working for Widmore. Did you notice that in Widmore's office there was no longer a painting of a polar bear but rather one of what looked to be Jacob and the MIB's stone scale?



- So Des and Widmore are all lovey-dovey and Widmore is sharing drinks of MacCutcheon's with his favorite employee... even though in the original timeline he said Des wasn't worthy. Then he gives him the assignment of looking after Charlie. I immediately thought something bizarre was going on when, after his release from jail, Charlie just walked right into traffic. Knowing what we know now, I'm figuring that he was either trying to have another near-death experience in order to have a vision of (presumably) Claire again, OR he didn't think he could be killed.

- Des ended up having his two flashes of Penny (within the sideways-flashes of the overall episode) when 1) he, like Charlie choking on the plane, was also in a life-or-death situation -- nearly drowning in order to save Charlie, and 2) he was experiencing another form of radiation in the MRI machine.

- After his talks with Charlie, Des figured out that something odd was going on. He became determined to find Penny, and when he got thisclose, Eloise (who's married to Widmore in this version of events) told him to "stop looking." Very similar to how she tried to prevent him from buying the engagement ring in the original timeline. Did you notice how she had a mini panic attack when Des first showed up, too? So obviously Eloise knows what's going on and might be the only character who always knows what's up, no matter what timeline it is. (It's not clear that Widmore has any clue that something strange is afoot.) And since in "Flashes Before Your Eyes" she wore the telling Ouroboros broach, I figured her pins this time meant something... so thanks to LLL reader David E J for suggesting that they might represent parallel timelines.


- Drumroll, please... and a big round of applause for The Return of the Skinny Tie (and its owner, Faraday, of course)! While I was thrilled to see him again, I did think his conversation with Des was a little far-fetched (which I realize is kind of silly for me to say in the context of this show). I mean, connecting his out-of-nowhere journal scribblings with quantum mechanics is one thing... but then connecting that to the fact that he probably set off a nuclear bomb in another timeline?!? That is a bit of a stretch, no? Whatever, I don't mind, but it kind of bugged me at the time. I'll chalk his ability to piece together the puzzle up to his overall brilliance... or the possibility that maybe he knows more than he let on to Des.

- Faraday gave Des the deets on where to find Penny, and I gotta say that I started welling up just seeing Penny running up and down the stadium, before she and Des even interacted. I also gotta say that if I were her and all of a sudden some dude appears alone with me in a gigantic, empty stadium and asks me out, I would be worried. Even if he was a gorgeous Scotsman. But I guess love at first sight has a strange effect on people, huh? The important part, however, is that once Des and Penny shook hands, he fainted. And from that point on, it seemed pretty clear to me that he started REMEMBERING what was going on between the two timelines. This might be because Penny is his Constant. Regardless, when he awoke in the Electromagnetic Chamber of Doom, he was all dazed... but smiley. And continued to be that way, even when Dead-Eye Sayid took out Widmore's team and asked Des to come with him.

- When Des flashed back to the Alt timeline, he was still all dazed and smiley, and it wasn't just because he had finally found Penny. It was because he knew what he had to do... and his knowledge of the Island timeline carried over. That's why he knew he needed the 815 manifest (shout-out to driver Minkowski, by the way! Who knew he was such a skeezeball with all that talk about prostitutes and whatnot?).

- The only thing I can't figure out is exactly what Des is going to do once he finds the 815ers. Is he going to try to nearly kill them so that they, too, can experience visions of the other world? And for the record, I don't think this is all coming down to a "love conquering all" thing. That's certainly a possibility, but it really doesn't apply for all of the characters. I especially can't figure out how Des would convince Jack, who has a SON in the Alt timeline but not in the original, that they were meant to live other lives. Speaking of that...

- What I think is going on is that both timelines we've seen this season are like two outcomes of a Schrodinger's Cat experiment. I can't remember if the Cat paradox was ever directly referenced on the show, but I know it was by Dom Monaghan's character on FlashForward, ironically enough. Basically I think that until the characters make some sort of final choice... or until the MIB either succeeds or fails in what he's trying to do, BOTH timelines exist. Then, depending on the outcome of people's choices, one timeline will eventually go POOF.

- I still have absolutely no idea how everything will all come together, though. Seriously. NO IDEA.

- What I DO know, and perhaps what is way more important anyway, is that I counted THREE instances of "brotha" in this episode. YESSSSSS. I also threw up a fist-pump when "You All Everybody" played. So many great moments in this episode, huh?

That's all I can do this time, guys. Hope it was better than nothing. And a HUGE shout-out to Hawaii-based LLL reader Jenna M, who sent me these pictures she snapped of Henry Ian Cusick (Desmond) running the Tag the World Triathalon in Waikiki last fall. I told her I absolutely had to "share the lusciousness" with you all.




Until next time,
- e

S6Ep10 - The Package

Hello my dear friends -

I'll skip the small talk once again just to maximize writing time, so let's get to it. Flashes first! (And for the newbies, don't forget to roll your mouse over the pics for hidden captions...)

KEEP IT ON THE DOWN LOW
NOBODY HAS TO KNOW

As many of us suspected after the season premiere, Sun and Jin aren't married in the alternate timeline. What I didn't see coming, however, is that Sun truly doesn't know English in the flash sideways. I'd thought she was just feigning ignorance when she was questioned by security after Jin was caught with the bag o' money. But if they were never married and he never was a crappy husband and she never wanted to take off on her own, then she had no reason to learn English, I guess.

BUT, they are still getting it on... and going to great lengths to hide their affair. Millions of men around the world forgave the producers for years of Shirtless Sawyer scenes once they got a look at Shirtless Sun, and all was well with the world for a few moments. Then Keamy had to ruin everything. Turns out it was his payment that had been confiscated and it was none other than my Kos Tour guide -- the man partially responsible for my picture with Terry O'Quinn -- Jeff, who was one of the guys refusing to let Jin leave with the dough! Yes, he was an extra in this episode and played one of the security guards, isn't that cool? That's him on the right. Congrats, Jeff -- you the man!


Speaking of the airport scene, and I'm sorry to be jumping around a bit in this section, but did anyone else notice this dude's absolutely amazing mullet?



Seriously, I could not take my eyes off of it. I was like, "Screw Sun and Jin -- I wanna know about that guy." I thought for sure he would be some key player in the episode solely because of that 'do. But like so many other times, I was wrong.

ANYWAY... Keamy calls in The Man Formerly Known as Patchy (hooray!) to translate for him. I was totally surprised to see our favorite Soviet, though by now all of these past character cameos shouldn't be such a shock, should they?

Sun claimed she had enough money to pay Keamy what he was owed, so Mikhail went to the bank with her while Keamy took Jin to the back of the restaurant we'd seen previously in "Sundown." It turns out that Mr. Paik already knew about the secret lovers, had closed Sun's account, and had hired Keamy to kill Jin -- the $25k was supposed to be his payment for doing so. But as we know, Sayid put a dent in those plans. After Sayid gave Jin a razor and took off, Mikhail shows up with Sun, things get ugly, and Jin straight-up shoots Mikhail in the eye. Is it wrong that I couldn't contain a huge laugh at that point? The Patch is his destiny.

Then came the scene that nobody expected. Sun had been hit in the stomach during the crossfire. My jaw definitely dropped open when I realized what was going on. But then it got worse... as Jin was carrying her out, she dropped a bombshell: "I'm pregnant."

You can be damn sure that I yelled "Saaaaaayyyyy WHHHAAATTTT?!?!" What did you yell?

OK, so here are my two main thoughts on this new development:
1) In the original timeline, pre-Flight 815, we learned that Jin was infertile. Sun knew this, but never told Jin. Once they survived the crash, that issue was resolved thanks to the Island's special powers and Sun became pregnant, with Juliet confirming that it was Jin's child because the "D.O.C" (date of conception) was during their Island stay. So now I'm totally confused because why would his infertility just randomly disappear in the alt timeline? UNLESS....
2) Jin is not the baby daddy. Let's face it, this is a possibility. Yes, in the flashes Sun did say that she wanted Jin to "run away" with her and they definitely seem to be in love, but that doesn't mean Sun hadn't been fooling around with Baldy back in Korea like she was in the original timeline. She has been proven not to be the most moral person in the world, so it's in the realm of possibility. Now, I fully admit that I think there's only like a 5% chance of this playing out since we're careening toward the end of the series, but I thought I'd mention it. It's the only way I can make sense of the situation.

Anyone else have an idea as to why Jin would not be infertile in the alt timeline? Hold up -- I just thought of one other possibility... when Jacob touched Sun and Jin in the original timeline, maybe Jacob purposely caused Jin's issues? And maybe in the alt timeline Jacob didn't visit anyone, so Jin was fine? I can't fathom why Jacob would do such a thing, though -- what would the point be? And so, I debunk my own theory.

OK, on to the Island.


PRIVATE EYES
THEY'RE WATCHING YOU
THEY SEE YOUR EVERY MOVE

Man, did that night vision stuff scare me. Since the episode opened with that scene, all that was going through my head was, "Whoa... is there another party we don't know about? Is this all a game that someone else is watching through a monitor? WHAT IS GOING ON?!?!" But it wasn't actually that hard to figure out, I was just slow that night. Clearly it was going to turn out to be Widmore's team. After Dead-Eye Sayid informed Fake Locke that he was utterly devoid of emotion and Fake Locke responded that it was probably better that way because of "what's coming," Fake Locke went into the jungle alone to do God knows what. The unseen night-vision people watched Fake Locke leave, saw that Jin was going to take this as his chance to bust out, and then decided to nick everyone in the neck with poisonous darts. One of my top twenty freak-out moments of the series was at the end of Season Two when Jack, Sawyer, Kate and Hurley got taken out by darts in a similar fashion after Michael set them up to be captured by the Others. So this scene brought back all those awful memories. Boo. At least there was no convulsing this time around.


EMPTY GARDEN

It turns out Fake Locke left his peeps in order to visit Sun in her old garden. But she wasn't buying anything he was selling. I was pretty impressed with Sun because, as we ALL know, the only frickin' thing she's been hollering about this entire season is "finding her husband." And that's what Fake Locke promised -- a reunion with Jin at long last. But I guess she knew better than to trust an undead version of the bald guy that had come back to the Island in a coffin. So she busts outta the garden just like Ben busted out in "Dr. Linus" when he decided to try and escape from Ilana and his self-dug grave. It didn't turn out as well for Sun because she ran head-first into a tree and was knocked out cold. Fake Locke disappeared, Ben found her... but when she awoke she could no longer speak English.

Now, something suspicious is definitely going on with this, don't you agree? We've seen subtle hints of the original timeline influencing the alternate timeline earlier in the season, with Jack's neck cut and abdominal scar, with Kate kinda-sort having an "a ha!" moment when she saw Jack outside the terminal and then later seeming to have a reaction to unborn baby Aaron's whale doll, and with Claire suddenly having Aaron's name come to her. And we've seen all of the flash-sideways characters look into a mirror during their centric episodes -- that's gotta mean something because it's happened in every episode. Now we have Sun no longer speaking English, just like in the alternate timeline. I can't really put into words what I think this means, other than to say that I think the two versions of events are starting to intertwine a bit -- and affect each other. Will a 2004 version of a character end up doing or saying something that helps the Present-Day version of his or her character? Or vice versa? That's the way I'm thinking it's going.


I SEE A BAD MOON RISIN'
I SEE TROUBLE ON THE WAY
I SEE EARTHQUAKES AND LIGHTNIN'
I SEE BAD TIMES TODAY

Back at the jungle camp site, Widmore's peeps steal Jin and take off. Fake Locke returns and is PISSED. I found it interesting that he didn't act like he cared about anyone except Sayid, whom he slapped awake first, and then immediately asked about Jin. Seems like if Sawyer was one of the candidates Fake Locke would've been a little more concerned about his life. And he basically said "whatever" about Kate and Claire.

The attack sprung Fake Locke into action and after the others regained consciousness he informed them that he and Sayid were heading to Hydra to retrieve Jin. Before they left, Claire cornered Fake Locke about the names on the cave wall and asked if she or Kate were listed. He said that neither of them were, but told Claire that he still needed her, and that he was essentially just using Kate. Then in so many words he said that it didn't matter to him whether Kate lived or died after he got everyone else on the Ajira flight. "Whatever happens, happens." Yikes.

Over at the beach, Ilana's all, "Told ya so!" when Richard and Hurley trudge back into the camp. Richard is alarmed when he hears that Fake Locke had recently visited Sun, and even more concerned when Ben told him that the MIB intended to carry out his plan on Hydra. The Ageless One immediately figured out that the MIB was going to attempt to escape the Island via the Ajira plane and ordered everyone to pack up because they needed to go there, too. (Cue me having another meltdown about the impending outrigger shootout... how much longer are they going to tease us about this? Wait, I have an answer to my own question: until they finally remind everyone about that time-traveling scene in the "Previously on Lost" segment. When that happens, except the shootout to follow in that episode.)

Sun continues to be in a bad mood and storms off again. Eventually Jack finds her and they have a pseudo-chat on the beach (I thought that scene was exceptionally beautiful with the eerie way the sky was lit, didn't you?). After Sun reveals that she didn't go with Fake Locke because she doesn't trust him, Jack asked if she trusted him, and put out his hand to her just like Fake Locke had done. Sun declared herself to be on Team Jack, took his hand and -- I think it's safe to assume -- implicitly agreed that she'll head over the Hydra with the rest of the group.

(Hmm, I just thought of something -- what if Sun's the one who gets shot on the outrigger kind of like how she was shot in the flash sideways?)

In the meantime, Fake Locke reached Hydra and I was honestly shocked to see him come face to face with Widmore already. I loved their "Do you know who I am?" "Do you know who I am?" convo. And after Widmore denied abducting Jin, I found it interesting that Fake Locke once again pulled from Real Locke's memories: "A wise man once said that war is coming to this island." That was, of course, what Widmore said to Real Locke in "The Life and Death of Jeremy Bentham."


PHOTOGRAPH
ALL I'VE GOT IS A PHOTOGRAPH
BUT IT'S NOT ENOUGH

How psyched was I to see the return of the Clockwork Orange Brainwashing Rave Room?!?! VERY psyched. Oh, how I loved that room. Did you notice how Jin had to turn on the video just to remind all of the non-diehard viewers where in the hell he was? I thought that was funny.

After attempting to leave and subsequently being tased by Zoe, Jin's asked about the electromagnet pockets on the Island. That means that Widmore's plan has something to do with those spots. Jin refused to talk and instead demanded to speak to Widmore. And he got his wish.

I have to admit that the Sun/Jin storyline has never been that compelling to me -- I just haven't really connected to those characters that much. Their #1 moment for me was Sun's ear-splitting scream when she saw the freighter (with Jin on its deck) blow up (which I was POSITIVE we'd have to live through again courtesy of the "Previously on Lost" segment before this episode, but we didn't). #2 was when they said good-bye (after weeks of fighting) when Jin was about to leave on the raft in the Season One finale. And #3 was Jin getting all teary-eyed at seeing the Ji-Yeon pics in this episode. Kudos to Daniel Dae Kim for bringing it!

So yeah, Widmore gave Jin Sun's digital camera from the Ajira wreckage, then let him take a moment to scroll through the gallery, and then got down to business. He informed Jin that if the MIB ever left the Island, everyone they both knew and loved would "simply cease to be." That sounds like some end of the world crap to me, don't you think? Kind of like when Ms. Hawking warned Desmond that if he didn't fulfill his destiny on the Island, that "every single one of us is dead."

Speaking of Desmond...


I MET YOU ON SOMEBODY'S ISLAND
YOU THOUGHT YOU HAD KNOWN ME BEFORE

Can I get a "FINALLY?!?!"
Can I get a "'Bout damn time!?!"
And can I get big ol' round of cheers that we're bound to hear "Brotha!" again soon?

Hooray, hooray! Desmond is BACK, and he is The Package (no perverted jokes, please). For like two milliseconds I thought The Package might be Ji Yeon, but then the reality of Desmond not being seen since the premiere returned and I knew it was going to be him.

We found this out thanks to a very creepy scene in which a Rambo-like Dead-Eye Sayid was slithering through the water and came face to face with Des as he hung over the pier, all whacked out on spiked OJ. They just stared at each other for several seconds and I had no idea what was going to happen. I thought maybe Sayid was going to pull Des into the water and glide away with him, or that Des would start shouting and alert Widmore's team to Sayid's presence. Instead, they both remained silent and Des was hauled onto shore. I can only imagine that Sayid will return to Fake Locke and report his findings so they know what they're dealing with.

But what ARE they dealing with, exactly? What is Desmond needed for? Since Zoe mentioned she's a geophysicist and is all concerned about the electromagnetic pockets, I can only assume they think that because Desmond turned the failsafe key (which then caused him to have all those weird future-flashes) that he has harnessed within him some sort of special power (how they would KNOW he turned the key is another mystery). Faraday alluded to something along these lines when he informed Desmond (during one of the time-traveling jumps last season) that he was "uniquely and miraculously special." Ms. Hawking also knew how important Desmond was -- not just because of what she said to him in "Flashes Before Your Eyes," but also because she warned him after he refused to join the Ajira flight: "The Island isn't done with you yet."

So Desmond's connection with turning the failsafe key and the effect doing so had on him and on the Island's electromagnetic pull is the only thing I can reasonably assume Widmore's team wants him for. Unless they just REALLY like his accent. Other ideas?


FLIES IN THE VASOLINE WE ARE
SOMETIMES IT BLOWS MY MIND
KEEP GETTING STUCK HERE ALL THE TIME

Let's end with the same question we've ended several posts with this season: What is UP with Widmore?

Here's where my head's at after this episode: Widmore, like Ben and like Jacob, is against the MIB leaving the Island. He does not want that to happen and understands that the results would be catastrophic. But that doesn't necessarily mean he's on Jacob's "side," per se. Widmore is on his own side and apart from wanting to contain the MIB, he has his own agenda. And that agenda involves: 1) keeping the MIB from escaping so as to not end the world, and 2) making sure the Island is easily accessible in the future.

Why? Because he wants to exploit its unique properties and powers. Ben said as much back when he first introduced Real Locke to Widmore via security video tape back in Season Four: "John, three months ago in Gainesville, Florida, the Virgin Mary seemed to appear in a patch of mold on the side of an old housing complex. When the word got out, over 5,000 people came to see her face for themselves. You've survived an airline crash on this island. One minute, you're in a wheelchair. The next minute, you're doing jumping jacks. If 5,000 people came out to see a piece of mold, how many people do you think would come here to see you? Charles Widmore wants to exploit this island, and he'll do everything in his power to possess it."

Now, Ben lied a lot during that talk he had with Real Locke, but I think there may have been a glimmer of truth to this part. We do know that Widmore has been on a quest to find the Island again ever since he'd been banished. We also know that he is a successful businessman back in the real world. Maybe he feels like the Island could be added to his empire? Maybe he knows that if he brought sick people there and they were cured that he would be worshiped -- like a god? Maybe he just wants the Island all for himself and wants to be able to simply come and go as he pleases without all the calculations that are currently necessary? Who knows... but in my mind he is STILL "bad" overall. Remember Alex!

As to why he chose Jin to kidnap rather than, say, Sawyer (another "candidate"... assuming Widmore even knows about the candidates...), on top of Jin's familiarity with the electromagnetic pocket locations, it might go back to Widmore's familiarity with Sun. Don't forget -- they struck some sort of weird deal after Sun returned as one of the O6 and thought Jin was dead. She was going to kill Ben with the gun Widmore provided and all that. So maybe there was more to their agreement than we realized.


BEST LINES OF THE EPISODE

ILANA: Hugo will find him. He will track him down and bring him back.

MILES: Unless Alpert's covered in bacon grease, I'm not sure Hurley can track anything...

LAPIDUS: Hey, don't talk about bacon.

SAWYER: What do you need a boat for? Can't you just turn into smoke and fly your ass over the water?

LOCKE: Do you think if I could do that I would still be on this island?

SAWYER: No, 'cause that would be ridiculous.

BEN: What? Oh, for the fourth time, I was gathering mangoes and she was already unconscious when I found her. Why won't you believe me?

ILANA: Because you're speaking.

Until next time,
- e

S6Ep9 - Ab Aeterno

Hello my dear friends -

Guess what? We've officially reached the halfway point of Season Six. Nine hours down, nine hours left to go before it all ends on May 23. I've gotta say that if the remaining episodes are even remotely as incredible as Ab Aeterno was, we are going to be very happy Lost fans indeed.

So go ahead and add me to the list of people who loved this Ageless Richard-centric hour (its title, by the way, is Latin for "since the beginning" or "for long ages"). I made what might've been the most obvious comment ever to my husband after it was over: "This was so much more powerful than it would've been had we gotten his backstory earlier." We needed years of seeing Richard as Jeff Probst's doppelganger -- clean-shaven, stylish, confident and spewing out impeccable English -- in order to truly appreciate how far he's come in, oh, a hundred and forty years. And to understand how utterly desperate he must feel to finally want to give up on the job he was given by Jacob all of those decades ago.

Since this episode bucked the traditional format and was almost entirely done in flashback mode, I'm just going to cover things chronologically. Let's do this.


AM I IN HEAVEN HERE OR
AM I IN HELL?
AT THE CROSSROADS
I AM STANDING

The opening scene showed the beach gang discussing what Ilana told Sun about "the candidates." Since I knew from the previews that this was going to be a Richard Alpert flashback, I was really surprised to see the replay of Jacob and Ilana's conversation in the hospital when she was all beat up. So I just assumed Richard was going to walk in, or was also lying on another hospital bed or something. Wrong. They showed us -- and expanded upon -- that scene again to reiterate three important points: 1) Jacob was wearing gloves and therefore never transferred any of his magical powers to Ilana, 2) he specifically said that she had to watch over "the remaining candidates," indicating that he was aware the latest experiment he was conducting on human nature was coming to an end, and 3) that "Ricardus" would know what to do once she brought everybody to the Temple.

The scene cuts back to real-time on the Island and Ilana repeats that Jacob said Richard would be the man with the plan. That's when we heard what might've been the most girly, yet simultaneously awesome laugh from the ageless one, who was standing off in the shadows of the campfire. He's like, "Joke's on you, suckas, because I got nothin' for ya." He then proceeded to tell Jack that he (The Mad Doctor) was dead and that they were all in hell.

And then I (and I'm sure many of you) groaned a loud groan and said, "Oh no, the Purgatory / They're All Dead theories are going to be alive and well again after tonight." Sometimes I think the writers just want to mess with the hardcore fans who dismissed those theories (because the producers themselves shot them down) back in 2004. Sigh.

Then Richard stomps off into the jungle to find the Man in Black, Ilana tries to stop him but Jack says it's pointless, Hurley's on the outskirts of the clearing, talking in Spanish to an unseen ghost, Ben tells everyone that Richard "doesn't know anything," and then the group just looks at each other and laments that they don't have any marshmallows, graham crackers and Hershey's bars with which to make some much-needed s'mores.

And then we switch to flashback mode once more...

I'M A SLAVE 4 U

A heavily bearded Richard is riding a horse across what I assumed was the Island, as there was a mountain in the background and we'd seen Widmore riding a horse around the Others' camp before. But nope, the setting was the Canary Islands and the year was 1867. Richard arrives home to his coughing-up-blood wife, Isabella, and he realizes that he needs to get her help right quick. She gives him her cross necklace, tells him that "we'll always be together" and he takes off on a half-day journey to find a doctor.

He finds a doctor, who's pretty much an ass, and then accidentally kills him -- much like how Des accidentally killed Kelvin on the Island. But as Richard looks down at the blood flowing from the back of the doctor's head, he realizes that he's got the medicine vial in his hand already. So he busts out of there... all for nothing. Isabella has passed on by the time he returned to her.

He gets no time to grieve because lawmen followed him home. The next time we see him, he's in a prison cell. A priest visits him, he begs for forgiveness for the awful accident, but Father Suarez will have none of it. He tells Richard, "I'm afraid the devil awaits you in hell. May God have mercy on your soul." Nice. That's the last time Richard gives a confession! Even if he wasn't about to be hanged!

Shortly thereafter, Alpert is in the process of being hauled off to the gallows when he's stopped by some British dude and asked if he can speak English. After it's revealed that he can, the British guy -- Jonas Whitfield -- BUYS him and declares him the property of one Magnus Hanso. As in, the great-grandfather of Alvar Hanso, founder of the Hanso Foundation, which financed the Dharma Initiative. (None of this is stuff we hadn't known before, except the confirmation that Richard was indeed a prisoner on the Black Rock. I'm just repeating the Hanso stuff for the "normal people" who don't remember all of this Lost mythology from past seasons.)


ALL AROUND THE WORLD
STATUES CRUMBLE FOR ME

Finally, we get to see the long-awaited Black Rock voyage. Thank the heavens that the FX were OK in this scene. All of the prisoners are in chains below deck and one of them peers out to see an Island that is "guarded by the devil" -- Taweret in all her glory.

And then, the Black Rock proceeded to take out the majority of the Four-Toed Statue. BIG MYSTERY SOLVED -- woo-hoo! I thought that part was pretty cool. Now we also know that it was a huge tidal wave that landed the ship in the middle of the Island. Another mystery solved. It's almost too much to handle. Almost.


RUNNIN' DOWN A DREAM

Next we watched as poor Richard saw Whitfield stab and kill everyone else below deck, one by one. Just as it was Richard's turn to look down the edge of the officer's sword, who shows up to wreak havoc but Smokey. Whitfield is disposed of and now Richard's face-to-face with something much worse than a man-made weapon. Smokey proceeds with the white-flash/mindscan thing we've seen him do before with Juliet and Eko, Richard is spared and Smokey rattles off.

Minutes turn into hours, hours turn into days, and Richard continues to fight to break free from his chains. Although these scenes were sad, I did find it kind of humorous that long before the boars of the Island taunted Sawyer, they were around to mess with Richard, and one of the bigger members of their clan caused him to lose the pin he'd been painstakingly trying to unlock his cuffs with. He was just out of reach of the pin and of rainwater, and he was just about out of hope and the will to live when Dead Isabella materializes. But Richard thought she was very much alive and therefore totally freaked out when she ran above deck, only to be eaten by Smokey.

What was Isabella? Since her body wasn't on the Island, it doesn't seem like the MIB could've transformed into her, does it? But maybe after the mindscan MIB could shift into people he saw from Richard's past? Or maybe Richard was just hallucinating -- who could blame him at that point, right?

I have to think that Isabella was the MIB in disguise, however, because the entire crux of his plan was to make Richard think that "the devil" had her. He even went so far as to admit that he was the smoke monster, that's how confident he was that Richard would be undeterred and still do whatever it took to save Isabella.

MAN IN BLACK: I'm not the one you need to worry about. The Devil has your wife, and you are going to have to kill him if you ever want to get her back.

RICHARD: Murder is wrong. That is what brought me here.

MAN IN BLACK: My friend, you and I can talk all day long about what's right or wrong, but the question before you remains the same - "Do you ever want to see your wife again?"

RICHARD: Yes I do.

Now, I know that in my last few posts I've been pointing out the increasingly religious tone that the show has taken, and clearly Ab Aeterno was the most blatant Bible-referencing episode of late. However, I think the only reason "the devil" was actually mentioned this time around was solely because of the mindscan Smokey performed. The Man in Black knew Richard was a God-fearing man and therefore used that against him in order to manipulate him into doing what he wanted -- namely, killing Jacob. What better way to do that then by telling Richard that Jacob was the devil... and had nabbed his wife? So let me be clear: the Island is NOT hell, no one back at the campfire in the present time is dead, they are not in purgatory, and Jacob is not Satan. I believe, just as I always did, that Jacob and the Man in Black might still represent some sort of religious figures, but I'll talk about that more in-depth later.


'CAUSE I'M WORKIN' FOR THE MAN
WORKIN' FOR THE MAN

Richard sets off for the statue, gets into a tussle with Jacob who -- in an attempt to convince the Island's latest visitor that he is not in fact dead -- dunks him a bunch of times in the ocean, just like a high school bully. I kind of liked this less patient version of Jacob. Anyway, Jacob was like, "If your wife was dead before you came here, then that wasn't her that you just saw on the ship -- duh." Jacob then goes on to describe evil as wine swirling around in a bottle, and the Island as the cork that was stopping it from escaping out into the wider world and spreading. Jacob explained that he brought people to the Island in an attempt to prove to the Man in Black that humankind was fundamentally good. Yet he never wanted to interfere with anyone's actions once they arrived. Richard called Jacob's strategery lame, and pointed out that if Jacob didn't try to influence visitors' actions, "... he will. DOUBLE DUH!"

Jacob felt really silly for not having realized this. He would've totally failed a Game Theory course back in the real world, geez. It dawns on him that this Ricardo dude could be useful, so he offers him a job as his "representative" in exchange for immortality. It's important to note that Jacob made it clear he couldn't bring back the dead, nor could he absolve anyone of their sins. So, he is NOT God, not that anyone really ever thought he was. I should probably mention that in the comments for my "Sundown" post -- the episode in which Sayid turned evil and killed Dogen -- Lost fan extraordinaire and LLL reader SherylM pointed out that while Jacob offered to save Dogen's son in return for Dogen coming to the Island, never did Dogen actually say his son had DIED. He just said that Jacob claimed to be able to "save" the boy, which could mean that he was so seriously injured he was probably not going to make it. So there are no inconsistencies in what Jacob says he can/cannot do. Even when he touched Locke after Locke's eight-story fall, he touched Locke within seconds of landing, so it's possible Locke had not died of internal injuries by that point, which I'm assuming would've happened otherwise. (Holy crap, it just hit me that we still don't know WHY Locke was paralyzed in the flash sideways timeline since he now has a good relationship with his father... DAH! Sorry. Back to THIS episode...)


TAKE THIS JOB AND SHOVE IT

Back in the present day on the Island, Richard returns to the stone bench under which he had buried Isabella's cross... the cross that the MIB saved from the Black Rock wreckage 140 years prior and had handed back to him with the promise that his "offer" would always stand. After Jacob's death, the Temple massacre, and learning information about "the candidates" which he'd never been privy to for 14 decades, Richard was more than ready to take the MIB up on his deal and end his time as Jacob's errand-boy. And I think the writers of this episode did an excellent job of helping us viewers understand exactly why Richard had finally had ENOUGH.

So he digs up the necklace and starts shouting into the wind, "DOES THE OFFER STILL STAND?!?!"

I was positive that Fake Locke was going to appear out of thin air, but instead Hurley emerges from the jungle. The first thing through my mind was, "Hurley is definitely going to be Jacob's replacement." I mean, all signs are pointing that way, no? I still think Jack will play some monumental role in "saving" the Island and everyone on it, but so far Hurley has been the most connected to Jacob and has already carried out his will several times. Then, in a very Ghost-like sequence, Hurley revealed that he'd been talking with Isabella -- who was presently standing right next to her long-lost love -- and that she wanted Richard to stop punishing himself for her death. She also wanted to remind him that they are "already together." Sniff.

Ghost Isabella vanished and Hurley dropped one last bomb on Richard: the ageless one's dead wife also mentioned that he HAD to stop the Man in Black from leaving the Island because if he didn't, "we all go to hell." Once again, I did not take her words literally. I took them as, "I'm a God-fearing Ghost and you're still a God-fearing immortal and the MIB is evil so you can't let evil win." Do not make me publicly shame you by trying to convince me her warning was evidence for the Purgatory theory!!!


GET UP
GET YOUR MAN A BOTTLE OF RED WINE

The last scene took place back in 1867 on the Island. We see Jacob and the Man in Black engaged in another tenuous chat, much like the one they had at the beginning of "The Incident." The MIB swears he'll find a way to kill Jacob one day... and that he'll also kill anyone who replaces Jacob. So there should now be no doubt that the promises Fake Locke is making 815ers like Sawyer and Kate and Sayid are complete lies. He fully intends to off them. Also, did you notice how Fake Locke and the MIB as played by Titus Welliver are so amazingly alike in their mannerisms and speech? Very impressive.

Even though his life has just been threatened, Jacob takes the high road and replies, "Brother, you need a drink. Oh look, I just so happen to have some wine. Here you go -- bottoms up." He gives him the bottle and then takes off. Once he's alone, the Man in Black throws a hissy fit and smashes the wine against a log. That's, like, SO mature.

Let's wrap up by discussing what new things we've learned about Jacob and his nemesis. I know there's a "Fight Club" theory going around that states Jacob and the MIB are the same person. This idea picked up a lot of steam after the MIB gave Richard the exact same instructions for killing Jacob that Dogen gave Sayid for killing Fake Locke/MIB: 1) Don't let him speak... AT ALL, and 2) plunge a special silver sword into his heart (it was the same sword in both episodes, by the way). While I am not by any means dismissing this theory on the grounds that I don't think it makes any sense (because I do think it's very clever), I am going to dismiss it on the grounds of "too complicated for a prime-time TV show with only half a season left."
First off, Jacob is already dead -- so how would THAT work if he and MIB were the same guy? Secondly, you've got people like Ilana sent to protect Jacob, and another big group siding with Fake Locke. I just think it would be waaaaay too complicated to not only wrap all the other several dozen (or more) outstanding mysteries in the show, but also find a way to easily explain to the average viewer that Jacob and his nemesis -- you know, the guys that were shown talking to each other, passing a bottle of wine back and forth, giving rocks as presents to each other -- are actually THE SAME DUDE. Nope, too complex to pull off, sorry.

After this episode I think the same thing I've always thought: that MIB is a form of evil. It doesn't really matter what his name is or if he's the devil or just a force for darkness or a demon or whatever. All that matters is that he despises humankind and therefore wants to prove that man is inherently "bad." He also wants to escape the Island so that he can spread his special brand of wickedness around the globe. (One thing that's confusing me is that I could've sworn we already saw Smokey -- in apparition form -- OFF of the Island. As Zombie Dad in Jack's hospital in "Something Nice Back Home" (remember, the smoke alarm even went off in that scene?) and on the freighter before Michael blew up. Anyone wanna help me make sense of that?)

Jacob, on the other hand, represents "light," or "goodness." He believes that man is inherently moral. He could be some sort of angel... that would still make him on par with the MIB if the MIB was in fact the devil, because in many religions the devil is described as a fallen angel. He might be some sort of heaven-sent representative charged with keeping the devil from running wild all of the place.

No matter what you want to view these two as, clearly they are not human beings. So we can all at least agree on that point, right?

I think it's nearly impossible for next week's episode to match the awesomeness of Ab Aeterno, but here's hopin'...

Until then,
- e