S3Ep9 - Stranger in a Strange Land (Jack's seventh flashback)

Hello my dear friends -

GOOD GOD, THIS EPISODE WAS AWFUL?!?!?

I'm really tempted to just holler "That was crap!" and call it a day for this write-up. I was extremely disappointed by "Stranger in a Strange Land"... I think it might have been one of the worst episodes of the series. First off, this was Jack's SEVENTH flashback - SEVENTH?!! And that's not even counting the mini-flashback in the Season One finale where they showed what everyone was doing in the airport before boarding Flight 815. The worst part is that I am sure there has to be at least one more Jack!back, because we know that he was not on "Jacob's list," meaning that he is not "good," and so we still do not know what he did in his past that was so awful (although hooking up with Bai Ling may be considered unforgivable by many). I hope in the meantime, however, they start evening up the score with flashbacks for the other characters a bit more.

Secondly, this flashback told us literally nothing except that Jack may have an STD. Really, think about it - we already knew that Jack had tattoos, and since the robotic "Sheriff" Other woman at the end recited what Jack's tattoo said, why did we even need to be subjected to Bai Ling? I would have preferred a flashback for Alex, Zeke, or hell, even The Sheriff instead.

I had read a long time ago that they were going to try to respond to "fan demand for sex scenes for Jack." Well, they failed miserably, because on top of the fact that Jack is much better as The Mad Doctor than as Cheesy Over-Aged Backpacker Looking For a Good Time, there weren't really even any sex scenes anyway. And all you need to do is pick up any Us Weekly and look on the back page's "Fashion Police" section to see Bai Ling all scantily-clad in some horrible outfit, so it's not like we were getting anything new with her, either. I demand an hour of my life back for having to deal with witnessing her scary hair (what WAS that thing on her head?), listening to her broken English and cringing at her non-existent acting skills.

Yep, this episode was a failure all around. By and large, people across all message boards are mad and disappointed as well. Perhaps if the previews hadn't raised our expectations so much about the "three major questions" getting answered, there wouldn't be the level of Hate that there is on the boards and across the fan base right now.


WANTED: ANSWERS

You all know that I get annoyed by people who are always whining about how they "want answers." I continue to contend that you should not be watching this show if you demand instant gratification. However, I do get mad when the "ABC Promo Monkeys," as they are so fondly referred to on the boards, say "Next Wednesday...The answers to three of Lost's biggest mysteries are finally revealed..." and then they serve up crap like "Stranger in a Strange Land." Here are the three questions that we can only assume they answered (this is the general consensus on the boards):

Q1) What does Jack's tattoo mean?
A1) We now know the answer, but this was definitely NOT one of the BIGGEST mysteries?!?!?

Q2) Where are the kids, Cindy, and the other people who were taken from the Tailies?
A2) They are still safe on the island (though we can't be sure if the other adults who were taken were there as we don't know what they looked like in the first place).

Yeah, in this episode we did SEE the two kids and Cindy for the first time after they'd been taken, but we already knew they were safe as Ana Lucia had asked Goodwin about this in Season Two:

ANA: What about the kids? Did you kill them, too?
GOODWIN: Children are fine. They're better off now.

Note that Goodwin's line is very similar to Karl's "We give them a better life" from this latest episode.

Q3) Where do The Others live?
A3) On Craphole Island

... but once again, WE ALREADY KNEW THAT from the Season Three premiere when they showed them all running out of the book club meeting and panned back to show their location!?! And Zeke had already told them before that "This is OUR island, we are LETTING you live on it" and then forewarned them not to "cross the line." They should know that their fans have better memories than they are giving us credit for...

In a weird way, however, the fact that this episode was poop is kind of good news for ME, at least, because now I don't have to spend 4 days straight having a nervous breakdown trying to finish this write-up like I did last week. Perhaps The Powers That Be were trying to ensure that fans' heads didn't explode by not following up Desmond's awesome episode with another great one.

Nah, I actually think they just needed a filler storyline and wanted a reason to hang out in Thailand for a bit.


THE LAND OF SMILES... OR BEAT-DOWNS?

And speaking of Thailand, that was another thing that made me mad about this episode... me, and I'm sure the Tourism Authority of Thailand?!?! What's up with making my Thai peeps look all crazy? I spent a month backpacking in the southern Thai islands many years ago, and granted, the only kind of tattoo I got was of the henna variety (it was of a crazy gecko scaling my ankle, in case you're curious), so perhaps that's why no one came and beat the crap out of me afterward. At least they showed a Jack as a tourist loser attempting to fly a kite - that was realistic.

OK, so you get the point - I am bitter about the episode. I will attempt to stop complaining. Here are the things worth noting for the future...


POT, MEET KETTLE


ZEKE: What kind of people do you think we are, Jack?
JACK: Oh, I don't know, Tom -- the kind of people that would take a pregnant woman -- that would hang Charlie from a tree -- would grab our people out of the jungle -- would kidnap children. That's the kind of people I think you are.
ZEKE [tapping the glass]: You see this glass house you're living in, Jack? How about I get you some stones?


Most people on the boards took Zeke's comment to be a shortening of the phrase "People in glass houses shouldn't throw stones." Zeke obviously thinks that either Jack himself or the Lostaways in general are pretty horrible people, and resents Jack's accusations. The following two posts from the boards illustrate both sides of the story:

The Lostaways' defense:
"The Losties have done as much "harm," for lack of a better word, as The Others, the difference being the Losties were forced into the situation and are surviving in a strange place -- The Others are at home on the island and could have acted with open arms and support to the Losties. The Others had the upper hand, but chose to initiate contact with lies and abductions -- actions that can't be interpreted in any other manner but hostile."

The Others' defense:
"Well - they murdered Ethan and Goodwin and Colleen, and tortured their frickin' leader! So in the Others' eyes, the Losties have certainly done their share of bad..."

What was odd to me about that early scene with Zeke and Jack was that Zeke seemed truly stunned that Jack would ever think that they would kill him.


CURIOSITY KILLED THE CAT

Another thing that was strange to me was how both Zeke and Alex were troubled by the fact that Jack sacrificed himself for Kate and Sawyer.


ZEKE: Let me ask you something. You risk your neck to cut them loose, and they run away and don't ever look back...
JACK: Thanks for the sandwich.

... later...

ALEX: Ben -- why'd you save his life? All this time -- after all he did to you and your people, you should hate him. But you still fixed him up, even after your friends got away. Why?
JACK: You're his daughter.
ALEX: Answer the question.


I found these two scenes interesting because all I can guess is that Jack is not acting like they assumed he would. From what we know of The Others, they are definitely doing experiments, and we now have proof after the Clockwork Orange Rave Room that some of these experiments are performed on humans. They probably thought they had human behavior all figured out. They obviously brought Kate to the island as leverage to use against Jack, and Sawyer was there as leverage to use against Kate. I believe they are now puzzled that Jack is making decisions that they couldn't have called themselves.



SOMEONE *PLEASE* SHOOT THE SHERIFF!

Ugh, first we have Freaky Second-Hand Store Lady in Desmond's flashback last week, and now we have another new Creepy Lady - The Sheriff. The main thing noted about her on the boards was how awful her voice was. She barely had any inflection at all, and quite frankly, I kept wondering if she was really a man because her voice had an oddly deep quality to it.

Anyway, she apparently is the head of Law & Order: Craphole Island Unit, and was heading up a little investigation into Juliet's recent behavior.
I love that Jack wouldn't give her what she wanted:

ISABEL: That true, Jack? Did Juliet ask you to kill Ben? [he doesn't respond] The question's simple. Did Juliet ask you to kill Ben?
JACK [smiling]: No. No, I was lying. I would have done anything to get my friends out. And turning you people against each other was my best chance of creating chaos.
ISABEL: Why are you lying for her, Jack?
JACK: I'd like to go back to my cage now.

The Sheriff was none too pleased later when Benry saved Juliet from execution at the last minute. Everyone on the boards took this to mean that despite all of their "rules" and their apparent "judicial system," Benry really does have the ultimate say-so. I hope we don't need to see The Sheriff again any time soon, I don't sleep well as it is.




THE HUMAN ZOO


I feel like they missed a really good opportunity to have freaked us all out during the scene when all of those random people were staring at Jack in the cage. But instead, it fell flat with yet another dose of stilted dialogue that cut off before providing any real insight:

[Back on the island, Jack wakes up startled in his cage. The camera reveals about a dozen people standing outside the cage.]
JACK [frustrated]: What?!!!
CINDY [approaching]: Hey, Jack.
JACK: Do I -- do I know you? 815, you were the stewardess.
CINDY: Cindy.
JACK: What are you doing here -- with them? I thought you were taken -- you were -- you were captured.
CINDY: They're not, um -- it's not that simple.
JACK: What are they doing here, right now? What are you doing here?!!
CINDY: We're here to watch, Jack.
JACK: Watch what?
[The little girl, Emma, from the tail section approaches.]
CINDY: What is it, sweetheart?
[Emma whispers in her ear and waits with a big smile.]

CINDY: She wants to know how Ana-Lucia's doing.
JACK: Are you serious?
CINDY: What?
JACK [angry]: If you've got something to watch, Cindy, go watch it!! Go!!


How lame was it that Cindy was all, "Hey, Jack!"? I will tell you: VERY LAME!

Here are the two main revelations we can gather from this scene:

1) Cindy either may have been one of The Others from the beginning, or she is now brainwashed, and "watching" the experiments may be part of the overall initiation...

and

2) Cindy truly did not know what happened to Ana Lucia.

Overall, everyone was frustrated that Jack just told her to go away rather than trying to get more information out of her.



THE SCARLET ASTERISK-THINGY

Juliet's "branding" was definitely a major event in the episode. When The Sheriff read the note from Benry indicating that Juliet's life should be spared, but that she should instead "be marked," Alex, Zeke and The Sheriff all physically recoiled. Many on the boards therefore assumed that to The Others, being marked was worse than death. So what is the significance of the mark - both in its design and in what it signals to the rest of The Others?

Regarding its design, I felt like people were really grasping at straws on this subject. Yes, I will totally admit that I do see the resemblance to the Scientology cross, and while the guy who played Ethan IS Tom Cruise's cousin in real life, and while show creator J.J. Abrams DID direct Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible III, I don't think Mr. Couch-Jumper's influence has pervaded the show just yet.

Other people thought that the mark resembled a symbol often used for the North Star, and then convinced themselves that it fit with the Jesus Stick inscription: "Lift up your eyes and look north."

Frankly, I don't think it is meant to be any existing symbol that we would recognize. However, I do think the signficance of "marking" someone is an idea they took from a few different religions and famous stories. Alex said that their rules were essentially "an eye for an eye," a phrase which comes from the Exodus chapter of the Bible, as does the title of this episode, "Stranger in a Strange Land." Here are thoughts from people who seem familiar with the subject:

- "In the Bible (Genesis 4), Cain kills Abel (Juliet killed Pickett) and God marked Cain so nobody would take vengeance on him and kill him. Hmmm, maybe the mark is a mark of protection... interesting."

- "I certainly think this may be a Cain and Abel reference. Here is some insight on the topic from answers.com: "God “set a mark upon Cain” to protect him in his wanderings. The “mark of Cain” now refers to an individual's or humankind's sinful nature."

- "Yesterday was Ash Wednesday if you are Catholic, and I was watching this episode with my cross of ashes on my forehead, thinking what the priest said as he put them on: "Turn away from sin." So this can all be a coincidence, or this mark on Juliet is similar to the mark on Cain."

- "I studied Theology pretty extensively and that is the reason why traditionally Christians never got tattoos, and why during the early 20th century bikers were so feared. To mark your body was a grievous sin."

One last post brought up a point having nothing to do with religion: "Juliet getting a mark paralleled Jack's tattoos as a basis for being an outcast-leader, thus propelling their relationship and co-dependence."

I think we are going to have to wait (surprise!) to understand the meaning behind the branding, but I do think that it is strange that it was put on her lower back. If it was meant to be shameful (like The Scarlet Letter), why wouldn't it have been somewhere a tad more noticeable? Some people are convinced that the mark is a sign for Smokey to kill Juliet, which I think is way out there.

Here is one idea that I do think is on the money, however: "You know that we will be seeing this mark on someone before the season is over. And since it is in a fairly concealable location, it will be on someone "surprising". "Gasp! Why does (insert character here) have the Others mark!?!?!"



HE WALKS AMONGST US, BUT HE IS NOT ONE OF US


The only other thing I liked in this episode, besides Juliet getting the mark, was the meaning of Jack's tattoo - I think it is a cool saying. That's not what his tattoo really means, however, but I will cover that in a minute.

So obviously "He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us" first and foremost signifies a leader. Someone who is obviously like everyone else at face value, but who has that special something that makes him or her stand apart. We've been witnessing Jack's "reluctant heroism" ever since the series' pilot, so it's not like the meaning of the tattoo was any big shocker.

As one fan put it, "I think it absolutely applies to his situation now with The Others. But I also feel it probably fits for the rest of his life as well. I doubt Jack has ever really just been one of the gang. He graduated top of his class (med school) and did it a year faster than anyone else. He's been busy trying to be a good man rather than just being one. His push for something better in himself could never let him be content being him. It's hard to be at one with other people when you're not even one with yourself."

What worried me was Jack's comment at the end:

ISABEL: "He walks amongst us, but he is not one of us." Your tattoos -- that's what they say.
JACK: That's what they say. That's not what they mean.

Uh, I don't get it. Is he trying to say that he wants to be one of The Others? Is he trying to deny that he's a leader? Does anyone have any other ideas?

The tattoo's meaning dove-tailed nicely with the title of the episode. As mentioned above, 'Stranger in a Strange Land" is a phrase mentioned in the Bible, but it also could be taken much more literally - Jack was an outsider in Thailand, he is an outsider amongst The Others, and overall - the island is quite a strange place for any of them to be. There is also a sci-fi novel of the same name by Robert A. Heinlein which revolves around a human raised on Mars being returned to Earth. And just to be EXTRA thorough, according to TV.com, "the episode title could also be an allusion to the song of the same name by Iron Maiden, about an Arctic explorer who dies and is found a century later by another team of explorers."

And to those of you wondering why the tattoo was in Chinese even though they were in Thailand, I offer you this wisdom from tattoo.com: "Thailand has a large Chinese population. Life in Thailand is saturated with superstition. People are convinced that benevolent and sinister powers direct their destinies and a lot of time is dedicated to appealing to these powers for help and kindness. In Thailand the sacred and profane are completely intertwined and interdependent. For more than 300 years, Thai men have visited with tattoo arjan (master), listened to the teachings and received tattoos in an effort to understand their destiny and exercise some control over it."

And, as I mentioned above... sorry folks, but Jack's tattoo's meaning was purely made up and created by the writers. Matthew Fox has those tattoos in real life, and they have said all along that they were going to work them into the show. Way back in Season One, Kate asked about his tattoos and Jack acted all skittish. Its actual translation is: "Eagles high up, cleaving the space" - a verse taken from a famous poem called Ch'ang-sha by former Chinese Chairman Mao Tse-tung (yeah, you remember him from history class back in the day!). According to TV.com, "The poem itself has a much deeper meaning as we can see in the end of the second stanza when the poet asks: "Who masters fate's rise and descent?" - which might have influenced the writers' translation." Yes, that sure sounds like a poem that a Free Willer would like!

And remember, we still don't know how/why he got the big number five or the other tattoos. All I ask is that Bai Ling doesn't turn up again as the tattoo artist for those!

That brings up the issue of the timeline - when in Jack's life did this flashback take place? My guess is that it was after Sarah left him, but before his dad took off for Australia. However, it could've also been before he met Sarah.



THE LOVE BOAT

I almost hurt myself pulling at my hair and face when the horribly sappy final scene aired. What was UP with that "gazing at the stars" montage and all of the Karl/Alex and Jack/Juliet longing glances? Not to mention the awfully cheesy music. The better not ever pull that type of crap again.

Some people were able to ignore the sugary sweetness and focus on the boat. I thought it was the same boat used to kidnap Walt, but most people on the boards think that what they were using to cross back over to Craphole Island was a much bigger vessel. I'm not sure if it matters one way or the other, but thought I should mention it.

The bigger question at the end of the episode was, "Is Jack right in trusting Juliet?" Remember that even Benry forewarned him, "Juliet doesn't care about you, Jack. It doesn't matter what she's done. No matter what you think -- she's one of us." In my opinion, Jack doesn't really have much choice BUT to attempt to form an alliance with Juliet. She clearly has a different agenda than the rest of The Others', and Jack is smart to try to leverage that to his benefit. If he actually falls for her, then yes, he is an idiot. I like Kate more than I like Juliet, and as you all know, that is really saying something.



BEST LINES OF THE EPISODE


SAWYER [singing]: Show me the way to go home/I'm tired and I want to go to bed/I had a little drink about an hour ago/And it went straight to my head.
KATE: Stop.
(This folk song, "Show Me the Way to Go Home," is sung by the three shark-hunters in Jaws while waiting out the night on their small boat)




KATE: Turn the boat around, Sawyer. I mean it.
SAWYER: Have you lost your mind? We just got away.
KATE: Just do it.
SAWYER: You give me one good reason to turn around!
KATE: Because we can't leave Jack behind!
SAWYER [pausing and staring at her]: Yes we can, Freckles, because that's what he asked us to do. You think about it -- if we go back there -- what do you think Captain Bunny Killer's going to do if he catches us?



[Cut to Sawyer approaching Karl. Karl quickly wipes his eyes. Sawyer punches Karl in the arm.]
KARL: Ow!! What the hell was that for?!
SAWYER: So you'd cowboy up. Crying in the jungle -- I thought you people were supposed to be tough.
KARL [shoving Sawyer]: I am tough.
SAWYER: Sure you are, Bobby. [Karl looks puzzled] Bobby, the Brady Bunch?
KARL: What the hell's the Brady Bunch?


BENRY: The cavalry has arrived, at last.
JACK: I'd be more impressed with you people if you had a good surgeon.
BENRY: We had an excellent surgeon, Jack. His name was Ethan.




WORST LINES OF THE EPISODE

ACHARA: There are things that happen here that you could never understand.
JACK: Like your gift?
ACHARA: Yes, like my gift. [they kiss and roll off the bed, laughing] Are you having fun with me, Jack?
JACK: Oh, yeah.
ACHARA: Then stop ask questions. Let's have fun.




JULIET: Why did you help me?
JACK: He told you he was going to let you go home. He told me the same thing. We're going to make sure he keeps his word.
JULIET: And how are we going to do that?
JACK: Together.



WISE WORDS FROM THE BOARDS

- I won't say it was worthless b/c I love the show, but did we really need to devote an entire episode to Jack's tattoos? What's next? Two episodes on Kate's freckles? Why does she have freckles if neither of her parents have freckles?!? PLEASE no more filler episodes!
- As someone who's seen every single episode of the show so far, I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that was the worst one. So what we learn from Jack's tattoo is that he's a reluctant leader? Sorry, folks, that's not learning. That's repeating. That aspect of Jack's character has been firmly established since the first season. Maybe since the first friggin episode.
- Jack's tattoos mean: "Party of Five"
- I think it is similar to the scar Ben will have from the surgery. No one believed Jack when he said he'd lied about Juliet asking him to kill Ben. Remember Alex said "an eye for an eye?" I think putting the mark on her spine and simulating an incision and stitches would be a gruesome reminder of what she planned.
- How is Juliet's mark going to affect anything? I don't see any of them going around in belly shirts. Is someone really going to see it? And more importantly... what does the mark mean for her. Three strikes and you are out?
- And when you "mark" someone isn't the point of it to be visible so that everyone can see it? I would have liked it to have been on her cheek or forehead!
- Anyone think the ending, where Karl and Alex are looking at the stars was a little bit... An American Tail?
- That was some Fivel Goes West shit at the end.
- I almost expected to hear "Somewhere Out There" during the looking-at-the-stars montage at the end.
- Hmm, we should have expected a terrible episode the second they cast Bai Ling. ICK.
- I had to avert my eyes. Avert my EYES! From Matthew Fox in a sexual scene. It's just not right.
- Bai Ling is Skankness on Two Sticks. I didn't want to look at her on screen too long for fear of catching an STD in my eyeballs.
- Serious meta this episode, with Jack screaming, "If you have something else to watch, go watch it!"
- Also I hate how these people act in ways that I can't imagine normal people thrown in the same (admittedly absurd) situation would act. Sawyer's just escaped a completely psycho situation and he's whistling and singing while he rows the boat? They have an Other in their possession and they just don't keep firing the questions at him? WHAT experiments? HOW do the Others plan to make the world better? Kate wants to go back and get Jack even though she knows she's outnumbered - instead of getting back to their island and assembling a posse? Where the hell is Sayid to be the BRAIN of the operation here? Also, if they're going to have an Asian subplot, why cast Bai Ling, the worst living actress on the planet, instead one of the zillions of Asian actresses out there who CAN act?
- The sheriff was played by Diana Scarwid who played Joan Crawford's daughter in "Mommie Dearest"... I wonder how Juliet was marked? I hope it wasn't with a wire hanger.


UPCOMING EPISODES

2/28/07 - Tricia Tanaka is Dead

3/7/2007 - Enter 77

3/14/07 - Par Avion

I've seen a few extra clips of "Tricia Tanaka is Dead," and I can confirm that Sayid actually speaks in this one, yay! The good news is that it really CAN'T be worse than last week's show, right?

Enjoy,
- e

S3Ep6 - I Do (Kate's fifth flashback)

Hello my dear friends -

First and foremost, happy holidays and Happy New Year. Perhaps, like me, you received all of the Lost action figures as gifts and are extremely happy because mini-Locke can now be with you, always.

If you did not get the Lost toys, fear not... as we are just weeks away from the return of the show on February 7th, so you can get your fix again soon.

Since "I Do" aired months ago, you may need to refresh your memory of what actually happened in the episode before reading my take on things. If so, choose between: a comprehensive yet succinct summary or a longer, but funnier recap.

Once you remember what in the heck happened back in early November, read on.


I will start out by saying that I thought the fall finale was awesome, and I watched it not once, not twice, but three times for both my viewing pleasure and to ensure I would cover absolutely everything for you, my loyal readers. I would put the last five minutes of the episode up there with some of the most intense television moments of all time (others include some of the early, scary X-Files episodes as well as when Lucy and Carter got stabbed on ER.)

They definitely set us up well for the February premiere.


KA-, OOPS, I MEAN MONICA

Let's just get Kate's flashbacks out of the way right up front, shall we? Don't get me wrong, I did actually enjoy the flashback scenes, but once again they didn't really give us anything new. We had already known that Kate had been married, as she told this information to Sawyer back in Season 1 when they played "I Never." But now we find out that - gasp! - it was to a Miami-based COP, of all people.

They really chose to play up the contrast between Kate's real life and her alter-ego Monica's faux one... from the priest's exaggerated speech at the wedding ("With Monica, what you see is what you get"), to her 60's-housewife hair-do, to her drawing smiley faces on French Toast and picking up food for that most revered of stable suburbian married life, Taco Night. She was well on her way to becoming a Stepford Wife, I dare say. Alas, the good life could not last for Kate, as her aww-shucks hubby wanted to take her to Costa Rica, which meant she would have to get a passport, which meant she would either have to manufacture a fake one or run the risk of blowing her cover. No, it was not meant to be - no leisurely vacations at all-inclusive resorts with fruity umbrella drinks and cabana boys running around were in the cards for our dear Kate.

After a lame, foolish, last-minute attempt to gain sympathy from The Marshal, on top of a pregnancy scare, Kate realized she had no other choice but to... drug her husband and bust outta Wisteria Lane.

If the flashbacks proved anything to me, it was that Kate was meant to end up in a cage on a deserted island with a fellow con artist. Like so many other of our beloved Lostaways, she really has nothing to go back to in the real world, and the island is the only place where she can be "free."


FAKE-OUT EXTRAORDINAIRE - OR -

CRAZY!JACK RISING, PART 1

Now, back to island happenings.

The tone of the episode was set early on - that tone being "Jack has gone absolutely crazy and just doesn't care anymore!"

I loved the initial scenes with Jack, Juliet and Benry... Jack very much led the two Others to believe that he would be performing the surgery on Benry, only to pull the proverbial rug out from under them at the last minute, and then add on a snotty zinger just for good measure:

JACK: You took these blood tests, made all the notations? [Juliet nods.] How old are the x-rays? JULIET: A week.
JACK: [To Ben] The tumor on your spine is borderline inoperable. And at the rate it's growing, that borderline goes away in one week.
BEN: [Unemotional] Oh.
[Jack and Juliet exchange a look.]
JACK: The OR in the other room, is that fully equipped?
JULIET: Yes.
JACK: Anesthesia? Sterile?
JULIET: Yes.
JACK: You needed to be in surgery yesterday.
BEN: Alright, then. Whatever you need, it's yours. I'm ready.
JACK: [Laughing] No, I think you misunderstood me. I didn't say I was gonna do it. I just wanted you to understand how you're gonna die. [Sardonic laugh] You think I believe you people? You think I trust you? That I'm just going to do the surgery, and then I'm just going to HOPE that you let me go?!
JULIET: Jack!
JACK: [Throws notebook at her face, behind partition] No, don't!
[The three exchange tense looks.]
BEN: Well, Jack. I'm very disappointed in your decision.
JACK: Well, Ben. At least you won't have to be disappointed for very long.

BOO-YA!

WORST. PLAN. EVER.

Good God, Alex! If you're going to attempt to take down the Others and free their hostages, don't use a freaking SLINGSHOT??!! Come ON!

Yes, back on the chain gang, Kate and Sawyer share a brief moment of hope when speakers start blaring that there has been a "compound breach" and Pickett fears aloud that "the doctor" has escaped. But then it's only young Alex who busts onto the scene, lamely flinging stones at various Others and shouting at Kate and Sawyer to run. Shortly thereafter she is easily captured by an Other who simply lifts her off the ground and carries her away. However, before Alex is shuffled off, she does say a few things that should be noted:

- She was apparently attempting to free Sawyer and Kate: "Come on, get up, GO!"
- She asks to talk to Ben. Which is important because until this point, we were not sure if she even knew who Ben was or had any direct contact with him.
- She is extremely worried that The Others have done something to her boyfriend. I think it is safe to assume that the younger guy who was originally in what is now Kate's cage is the boyfriend in question, as Alex also questioned Kate about his whereabouts in a previous episode.
- She believes that they are going to kill Kate's "boyfriend." We can assume this means Sawyer.
- She does not trust The Others overall: "Whatever they say, don't believe them!"

After seeing this scene, I couldn't help but wonder if the whole thing was staged. I mean, did Alex REALLY think she could free those two and then escape herself, when surrounded by a ton of Others who all have guns?? I had to think that perhaps it was a set-up to get Kate and Sawyer to think that Alex is on their side, so that they can just fall into a trap later on. Or it could've been a set-up to scare Kate even more into believing that they really would kill Sawyer (right after Alex is taken away, Kate is approached by Juliet to "help save Sawyer's life").

But there is of course also the possibility that Alex is just young and stupid and acting irrationally because she thought they had killed whats-his-face.

THE REUNION - OR -

CRAZY!JACK RISING, PART 2

So Kate gets dragged into Jack's holding cell (still separated from him by the glass partition, mind you - I'm sure just so they could have that over-played, cheesy 'hands attempting to touch through the glass' scene) and they are reunited for the first time since being kidnapped.

Despite its cheesiness, I thought this scene was powerful and it's fair to say that the scowling doctor's face did light up when he saw Kate. Even better was the totally awkward Juliet watching them in envy and then muttering, "Uh, I'll give you two some privacy."

The next few minutes re-convinced me that Lost has some of the best damn actors on television. We have already previously bowed down to Jack's man-crying abilities, and I have also mentioned before that Kate has concocted her fair share of priceless expressions over the three seasons. As they were brought together in the Hydra hatch, it was impressive to watch the tone turn from a happy reunion to an emotional (but unspoken) fearing of what had happened to the both of them, to a realization of what was really going on by Jack, and the resulting shock at Jack's lack of compassion by Kate.

JACK: [Both hands against clear partition] Hey. You Ok?
KATE: Yeah. You?
JACK: Yeah, I'm great. [Both holding back emotion] Where are they keeping you?
KATE: Outside. In a cage.
JACK: Sawyer?
KATE: He's in a cage, too. They're making us work.
[JACK: Work? On what?
KATE: I dunno what it is, but it's big. We're hauling rocks, and...
JACK: Hey. Did they hurt you?
Kate starts to cry.]
JACK: Kate, hey. Hey. It's gonna be alright.
KATE: Jack. You have to do it. This thing that they told you, this operation.
[Jack looks up at the video camera, where a red light is blinking.]
KATE: She said that if you do it that...
JACK: What did they do to you?
KATE: Jack...
JACK: What did they do to you?
KATE: Nothing!
JACK: How did they get you to ask me?! What did they offer you?!
KATE: [Crying] Nothing!
JACK: Then what are you doing here?!
KATE: They're gonna kill Sawyer! [Breaks down into tears] I'm sorry!
[Jack turns away from partition.]
KATE: I'm so sorry! But she said that if you do it, and you do it soon, they'll let us go!
JACK: And you believe them?
KATE: I have to. [Jack is silent] Jack? Please...
JACK: We're done here.
KATE: Jack!
JACK: [Shouting out at camera] Hey! We're done in here!

Then we see eeeeevil Benry at his wall o' monitors staring grimly at what is unfolding in the cell. "Get her out of there," he orders Juliet. Benry realizes that Jack indeed is only looking out for #1, and Kate and Sawyer were not luring enough bait for the Mad Doctor, as Benry had obviously counted on.

Or were they?

GIRL, I'D LOVE TA SHOW YA, SHOW YA.... MY JUNGLE LOVE!

Once back safely in her cage, Kate realizes that the Mad Doctor is most certainly never going to get with her now, so she thinks, "Ahhh, what the hell, I will go have some fun with Mr. Tortured Soul of the Great One-Liners." So she climbs out of her cage and tries to coax Sawyer to run away with her, only for him to finally break the news to her that they are in fact stranded on another island. After a brief spat used only to build the tension before their climactic love scene, Kate finally succumbs to Sawyer's advances.

OH EE OH EE OH!

Not to ruin that moment for all of you Kate/Sawyer 'shippers, but let me just say this: Two months on the island... no toothbrushes or toothpaste... much eating of fish biscuits... intense love scene. Ponder.

As a side note, many think that the title of this episode was meant not as a reference to Kate's marriage flashbacks, but as Kate's answer to Sawyer's question about whether or not she meant it when she said to Pickett that she loved him. Kate remained silent and Sawyer was the one to say, "I love you, too."

A MAN HAS THE RIGHT TO CHANGE HIS MIND - OR -
CRAZY!JACK RISING, PART 3

Back in the Hydra hatch, Jack is sulking about how no one can appreciate what it is like to be the Mad Doctor. He crashes on a freaky island shortly after his wife left him and his father died, sees his Zombie Dad running around, saves half of the people who survive, finds himself in the middle of a love triangle, gets kidnapped, and now is a pawn in some twisted mind game - with Benry promising him freedom if he saves him, and Juliet hinting to him that he should botch the surgery, and Kate telling him that he can save Sawyer by performing the surgery, and the truth of what is really going on lying nowhere in sight.

Then comes a garbled voice from the intercom, sounding suspiciously like Alex. The voice tells Jack to "try the door," so Jack finds that the door is unlocked, and proceeds to sneak out of his cell and in to Benry's lair, where there just so happens to be tons of guns, and, oh, HOW CONVENIENT, a video camera shot pointed right at Kate and Sawyer and their sinful snuggling.

Once again, Jack gives us some of the most priceless expressions, as he stares befuddled at the screen, looks down, and then arrogantly laughs at what is before his eyes. All while missing Benry sneaking up behind him.

BEN: If it helps, I was surprised, too.
[Jack swings around and points the gun in his face.]
BEN: If I were a betting man, I would have picked her and you.
JACK: Shut up.
BEN: Well. I suppose this would be the proverbial nail in my coffin, wouldn't it?

And then, for no reason other than the fact that he is Crazy!Jack, Jack does a complete 180 and tells Benry that he will indeed perform the surgery, and not only that, he'll do it in a matter of hours, the following morning. Then he snarls, just to make sure Benry understands: "I need to get the hell off this island."



Benry replies with, "Done." And of course I had to wonder, "Hmmm, did Benry mean that LITERALLY, because technically they are on Alcatraz, so Benry could get Jack off of THAT island and put him back on Craphole Island and not be breaking his word." I guess we will see. That is, if Benry survives the operation...

But regardless of the outcome of the surgery, I think that in the end, Benry's plan to use Kate and Sawyer for leverage against Jack worked. Not in the way that it was originally intended to, but it still worked nonetheless.

And don't think for a second that Jack's "accidental release" from his cell wasn't intentional. Benry and/or the rest of The Others KNEW what was being shown on that screen, and they probably figured they should try a last-ditch effort to push Jack over the edge. And for whatever reason - be it because Jack realized that Kate loved Sawyer, or because Jack realized that perhaps he could at least save the happy couple if not himself, or because Jack didn't really didn't care about anything anymore after seeing that video - it worked.


THE CALM BEFORE THE STORM

The time finally came for Benry's surgery. I have to admit that I kept waiting for Jack to find nothing there... I honestly thought it was all an elaborate scheme to see what Jack would end up doing - and that the x-rays were not actually Benry's and therefore there was no tumor. It shows how much I'm expecting twists in the show, I guess. I also found it hilarious to see Jack dressed up in scrubs with the Hydra logo all over them.



Before Benry goes under, he makes two interesting comments:

1) BEN: Whatever happens, everything will be very different, won't it?
JACK: No doubt about it.

What exactly did they mean in this exchange, I wonder? There is the most obvious course of thought which is that it is probably going to take a long time for Benry to physically recover from the surgery, so he will be in no position to be bossing everyone around. It could also mean that if Jack is successful, there will be a change in the dynamic between those two. But now, knowing what Jack ended up doing, there's a whole nother layer of complexity to their comments. I will cover that shortly.

2) BEN: Juliet. Did Alex ask about me?
JULIET: No. We took her home last night. I don't know where she is now.

Hmmm, very strange. So not only did Alex demand to speak to Ben the day before, Ben is now asking if Alex asked about him before his surgery. This leads me to believe that he played a role in raising her on the island, like a father figure or something. The "we took her home" comment by Juliet confirms my statement from a prior write-up that the Others actually live on the main island and only come to Alcatraz for their various experiments and side projects.


THE JESUS STICK LIVES!

Let us not forget about all of our other poor Lostaways! We didn't see hardly any of the other main characters for the majority of the first six episodes, and the finale was no different. However, you can rest assured that that will change shortly after the show resumes in February. In the meantime, we did get to see a few minutes of the small group left to deal with Eko's death, led by my man Locke.

After the hatch implosion and Mr. Eko's death, it is safe to guess that Locke is going back full-steam-ahead to his shaman-like ways on the island, as he has now been given many justifications to "believe in the island" again. He seems intent on understanding why the island wanted Eko to die. When tramping through the jungle with Sayid to find Eko's beloved stick for inclusion at the grave site, Locke hints at his next vision quest:

SAYID: So, what killed Eko?
LOCKE: Folks back at the beach call it "the Monster." I don't really have a name for it. You don't believe in monsters?
SAYID: I believe in what I can see. But obviously you have. So, why don't you tell me what you think it is?
LOCKE: Might be what brought us here.
SAYID: So, you think that this Monster decided that Eko was meant to die?
LOCKE: I believe that Eko died for a reason. I just don't know what it is yet.


I believe that Locke will find his purpose again - and that he will think that purpose is to understand Eko's death and subsequently to find Jack, Sawyer and Kate. When making the speech at Eko's make-shift funeral, Locke seems to have found his first clue:

LOCKE: Rest in peace, Mr. Eko. Thank you for helping me find my...
[Suddenly, Locke stops, and focuses on the stick.]

Not only is Locke zeroing in on this new carving on the stick, but he also probably noticed that "John" is right beneath it, in reference to a different Bible passage (John 3:05). But it could read as, "Lift up your eyes and look north, John."

My call is that the Alcatraz island is to the north, and that Locke will be the one to figure this out and to organize a group of Lostaways to save the kidnapped three. Other people on the boards, however, feel that it's another hatch that is to the north ("The Flame"), and that is where they will find Patch-Man.

WHO THE HELL IS JACOB?

JACK: Scalpel.
[Juliet hands him the scalpel and he starts cutting. Pickett is up a tier in observation, watching.]
PICKETT: Let's go. [Walks off with a man]
OTHER MAN: Ben's just gone into surgery.
PICKETT: Ben just put his life in the hands of one of them! Shephard wasn't even on Jacob's list.


Whoa, whoa, whoa. BACK up. Who is Jacob??? That was definitely a "stop and rewind multiple times tivo moment" for me. So three very important things came out of that brief scene:

1) Literally the second Benry's surgery began, Pickett took off to go kill Sawyer, with absolutely no fear of reprisal. To me, this confirmed that they really had no other use for Sawyer than as leverage for Kate (who was leverage for Jack). If Benry had other plans for Sawyer, Pickett wouldn't have felt confident enough to risk carrying out his revenge... he only went to kill Sawyer after he was sure the surgery was under way.

2) You can infer that Jack is NOT a "good person." If we are assuming that this unknown character Jacob is the one behind the "good people" lists, then you can assume that all the Others know who was on those lists because they were sent to kidnap those people early on. What we as viewers do not know is why Jack would NOT be considered a good person. To this point in his flashbacks, he hasn't done anything horrible like killing anyone on purpose. In my view, this opens up ALL characters who we previously thought were "good" (except Locke, because Benry told him he was "one of the good people" and Locke also saw the white light from the Monster) as possibly being "bad." Something tells me another Jack!Back is in the not too distant future...

3) There is some dude named Jacob who may be the one controlling everything, not Benry, as previously assumed. So Jacob is most likely the "him" that Benry spoke of while captive and that Pickett and Ethan referenced in one of Claire's flashbacks. Could Jacob be the crazy pirate patch guy? I don't think so. I think it is someone we haven't seen at all yet. And the name "Jacob" carries all sorts of religious connotations...



THE FIVE MOST INTENSE MINUTES OF LOST - EVER (so far)

From the point when Pickett left the surgery watch-room until the episode's end credits are what I am counting as some of the most intense television I have ever seen. I was seriously disturbed at the dark turn the show took near the end when Pickett came for Sawyer. The rain is pouring down, and Pickett and his no-name henchman just bust into the cage and there is no doubt about what they plan to do.

PICKETT: Step away!
[Sawyer punches out the man with him and grabs Pickett's hand with the gun. There's a scuffle, and Sawyer ends up with Pickett's gun pointed at Pickett, but Kate has been overtaken by the Other man.]
PICKETT: You let go, or I do her too!
[Sawyer looks over at Kate, who is helpless, pinned at gunpoint up against the cage bars by the second Other man.]
PICKETT: Let go!
KATE: Don't you let go! Don't you think about it, Sawyer, you fight! No! Sawyer, NO!!
[Sawyer lets go and lets Pickett have the upper hand. He is pushed face-first into the cage bars, and Pickett holds the gun to his head.]
KATE: No, NO!! Sawyer, PLEASE! You get your hands off of him!
PICKETT: Get on your knees! [Pushes Sawyer to his knees]
KATE: Please!! I'll do ANYTHING YOU WANT!!!!
PICKETT: I want you to watch.
SAWYER: Close your eyes, Freckles.
KATE: Stand up!
SAWYER: CLOSE YOUR EYES.
[Sawyer closes his eyes, as Pickett prepares to shoot him execution style.]
KATE: NO! NO! NO!
PICKETT: This is for Colleen. You son-of-a-bitch!

I thought the dialogue between Sawyer and Kate was heart-wrenching and I think it was some Evangeline Lilly's best acting of the entire series. Her screaming "I'Ll do ANYTHING YOU WANT!" still moves me to tears, just to think about it. And then Pickett's sickening "I want you to watch" just left me nauseous. I'm seriously all stressed out again now just re-reading the dialogue! Shudder.

When watching it live, I knew that there were only a few minutes left of the show at that point, and I honestly thought for a brief, painful moment that they were actually going to kill Sawyer. Because they started playing the sad "this person is dead" music! Those damn score-writers and their trickery!



CRAZY!JACK HAS ARRIVED! (still part of the intense 5 minutes)

Wooo... wooo.....!!!!! The Crazy Train is pulling out of the station and I'm totally on board because the Mad Doctor is the conductor!!! The outpouring of love for Crazy!Jack was at all-time high levels across every single Lost site and message board I visited. EVERYONE LOVES THEM SOME CRAZY!JACK! He just doesn't care anymore and he is doing it HIS WAY.

He didn't keep his "do no harm" oath and just perform the surgery on the up-and-up. Nor did he accidentally botch the surgery on the sneak-tip per Juliet's video instructions. He just made a big ol' cut in a place he wasn't supposed to, punched out the other surgery attendees, demanded the walkie talkie, and then assumed his rightful Position of Power on the island. The best was how Zeke was just left staring with his mouth hanging open.


After Zeke composed himself, he was able to catch Pickett via walkie talkie right before Sawyer met an untimely fate. And then, the final heart-pounding moments of the episode were spent between Jack and Kate.

KATE: Jack? Jack!
JACK: Kate? You have about an hour headstart before they come after you.
KATE: Where are you? Where are you?
JACK: You remember what I told you on the beach? The day of the crash. You remember what story I told you when you were stitching me up? [Kate is silent on other end] DO YOU REMEMBER IT?!
KATE: [Crying] YES! Yes, I remember!
JACK: When you get safe, you radio me, and you tell that story.
KATE: Jack, please.
JACK: If I don't get a call from you in the next hour, I'm going to know something went wrong, and [turning to Tom] HE DIES!
KATE: I can't leave without you!
JACK: Yes, you are. Go!
KATE: Jack! I can't!
JACK: Go, now!
KATE: I CAN'T!
JACK: KATE, DAMMIT, RUN!!!!

AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I'm totally stressed out again?!?!?!

So a few things about the final moments:

1) What exactly is Jack's plan now?
I don't see a good outcome for Jack overall in this. Even if he sews up Ben (which, I don't think he has actually REMOVED THE TUMOR yet, so he still has to do that, which isn't a walk in the park), all of the Others are going to hate him. Why would they keep him alive past Ben's recovery now? And if Ben ever was going to keep his promise to take Jack "home," why would he do it now? If Jack doesn't finish what he started with the surgery and lets Ben die, then he's got even bigger problems. Juliet probably won't be on his side anymore, either, as he didn't screw up in a subtle way as she wanted him to. All I can figure is that Jack had already realized he was never going to get off the island and that the Others were liars (hence his speech to Kate in the cell), but after seeing Kate and Sawyer together in the cage, his God Complex kicked back in and he thought, "Well, perhaps I can do something so that those two can at least live happily ever after." He is essentially sacrificing himself, in my mind. Also, I recently read an interview with the show's creators and they reiterated that the characters' names often have specific meanings... so when you think about Jack Shephard, you could infer that perhaps he is trying to look out for his remaining "flock."

2) What is Juliet going to do now?
As I stated above, Jack didn't exactly go along with her plan, and she is at risk of being exposed by Jack as a traitor, since he definitely has nothing to lose now by telling someone about her plan to defer attention away from himself.

3) Why didn't Kate TELL HIM THEY HAD NOWHERE TO GO???
This was annoying to me... she just kept going "I can't!" "I can't leave without you!" instead of "We are on another island and there is no way off that I know of!" I KNOW that they were just wanting the totally intense effect so they didn't want Jack and Kate to get into that conversation, and I hope that no one gets mad because this is kind of spoilerish, but just know that they DO cover the fact that they are on another island and need a boat to get off in the next episode (hey, I fell off the spoiler wagon just a little bit, what can I say?). So I am less annoyed now that she didn't bring that up right away, and I hope you are, too.

4) What exactly is Ben's role?
So we know that someone named Jacob is most likely running the show behind the scenes. And we know that Juliet has some sort of conflicted history with Ben. Yet it is very clear at the end that Ben definitely has some power over Pickett and Zeke - even if that it's just that they care about him enough to not want him to die. Pickett was very ready to shoot Sawyer and the fact that he didn't says to me that his fear of or respect for Ben overpowers his extreme anger and need for revenge.

5) What is the story Jack was referring to that he wants Kate to repeat to him?
The story is (I looked it up in the Pilot transcript to be sure) about his first solo surgery as a resident, and how he totally screwed up and made a bad incision on a 16-year-old girl, but he only let the fear take over for 5 seconds, and then he continued on with the surgery and it ended up OK. Kate has used this "being afraid for 5 seconds" strategy two other times in the series. It has been debated on the boards if there is any deeper meaning to why Jack chose this story, but I think it was simply because Kate is the only one who would know it.

The last comment I will make about this episode is that I think it would have been much more appropriate as a Jack!Back. Had we found out in this episode why he is considered a "bad" person, it would've perfectly complemented his "I don't give a crap about anything" actions on the island. That is what makes a strong episode overall - a seamless melding between one of the character's past and present actions. This was clearly Jack at his most awesome. I guess we will just have to wait for his next flashback - which will undoubtedly come this season.

WISE WORDS FROM THE BOARDS

- So, Alex = the Island's Bart Simpson? I never laughed so hard - girl is scrappy.
- Love Jack as a badass, if he'd have whipped this action out earlier I wouldn't hate him so much. - The sad music they were playing at the end almost had me convinced that they were going to kill Sawyer. (e - SEE! I wasn't the only one!)
- At this point, there is no way I can believe the Others are at all good. The manipulation and abuse they have exhibited towards the survivors are just beyond anything that could be reasonably reconciled with me through a well-written subplot. Even if it does turn out that there is a believable rationale behind the mind games Benry and Juliet have played with Jack and Kate or the physical beatings Sawyer's endured from Pickett, I will still be hard-pressedto believe that there wasn't some alternative to their actions.
- Dammit, I was ready to let this show go. Not only can I not let it go but Jack has surpassed Sawyer as my favorite character.
- I have never thought much of EL as an actress, and yet, here I was, blubbering like a baby in two of her scenes. She did awesome.
- If that asshole Danny Pickett doesn't die in the next 16 episodes I'll be mad.
- I think it's fairly clear that "Eko the White" will be returning in the future. (e - had to include that one for the LOTR fans out there)
- Holy....Wow. What a great final scene. Jack sacrifices himself for Kate and Sawyer. Talk about a hero.
- Not much for Jack-haters to chew on for this ep.
- I actually thought Danny was going to kill Sawyer anyways, after receiving the "call" (probably because he was one of Juliet's followers). That was a tense moment, I was literally on the edge of my seat. I couldn't take my eyes off the screen, praying that we wouldn't end the episode with that scene. Instead we got the depressing ending where Jack will think that Kate and Sawyer are safe by giving them 1 hour head start, without knowing that there is nowhere to go.
- I don't know. The situation is dire, but I'm not convinced it's completely hopeless... Yet. Still, a lot can happen in an hour. If Jack Bauer can take out a cadre of terrorists and save his girlfriend and her father, then I'd like to think Sawyer and Kate can run a mile or so and at least find a decent hiding spot until they can figure out how to get back to Craphole Island.
- 6 episodes, no Vincent. Very sad. I think he must be hanging with Rose and Bernard since we didn't see them either.


BEST LINES OF THE EPISODE

[Back on the island, Kate awakens as the cage door clanks. The siren is blaring "Warning", and Sawyer is throwing rocks at the feeding apparatus in his cage.]
KATE: Hey.
SAWYER: Hey yourself.
KATE: What are you doing?
SAWYER: Throwin' rocks.
KATE: Thought you had to pull the lever.
SAWYER: I know how to get a damn fish biscuit.

KATE: I saw Jack. They brought me in to see him. They want him to do surgery on Ben.
SAWYER: Who the hell is Ben?



[Back on main island, Locke is talking over Eko's grave, with Desmond, Sayid, Nikki and Paulo standing in a circle, with heads bowed.]
LOCKE: When the hatch exploded, your prayer stick fell out of a tree right on top of me.



KATE: What if I told you I was a fugitive? [Kevin is speechless] What if I told you I was on the run for blowing up my father, and it was only a matter of time before you found out?
KEVIN: This isn't funny.
KATE: [Crying] It's not a joke. I almost had a baby, Kevin. Me, a baby! I can't do this! Taco night?! I don't do taco night!
KEVIN: Ok, calm down, Monica...
KATE: My name's not Monica!


JACK: Hand me another hemostat. [Jack clamps a vessel] Swab again. [Juliet assists]
[When the Other man with them turns, Jack takes the scalpel and makes a deliberate incision in Ben's back. Immediately, the heart monitor beeps faster as Ben's pulse increases.]
JULIET: What happened? Is he Ok?
OTHER MAN: His blood pressure's dropping. He shouldn't be bleeding like that!
JACK: Nope, no, he shouldn't.
[Jack punches the Other man in the OR out, and he goes crashing into a small table. Tom watches from the above observation deck, speechless.]

UPCOMING EPISODES

I laughed so hard when the previews for the rest of the season had not only the voiceover man, but also the graphical text reading, "No Repeats... NOT... EVEN.... ONE!"

I highly suggest you watch the preview again to get yourself hyped up for February.

The February 7th episode is entitled "Not in Portland."

From the preview, we can see that Jack is still as crazy as ever, Kate and Sawyer appear to be running through the woods but have someone chasing and shooting at them, Locke looks happy, and Desmond hints that something horrible happened to him when he turned the key.

For those of you who have either been watching the now-canceled "Day Break," or who have seen the sneak-peek "Lost Moments" posted on the Internet (they originally aired during "Day Break"), you know some more of the details of what will happen when the show returns. I'm not going to provide those links as I consider them major spoilers and if you really want to see them, you can find them yourselves. But I will say that I watched all of them and they were fairly interesting, and Jack is definitely still off his rocker, so if nothing else, that is something to look forward to!

LIFE UNFORTUNATELY IMITATES ART
In a eerily similar scene to when Kate blew up her dad's house, Evangeline Lilly's real-life home in Hawaii burst into flames recently. Luckily, no one was home, and it was deemed to have been an electrical malfunction.

I GUESS ALL THAT FACE-MAKING PAID OFF

For the 2007 Golden Globe Awards - Lost was nominated for Best Series - Drama, and Evangeline Lilly (Kate) was nominated for Best Actress - Drama!

The show airs January 15th. It is, in my humble opinion, the BEST awards show because it combines both movie and TV awards. But Terry O'Quinn/Locke was robbed again??!?!

Here are all the nominees.

IF YOU'VE GOT 7 MINUTES...

This silly (in a good way) video set to a Weird Al cover tune compilation is a good way to pass the time. Shout-out to Uncle Grambo for passing along the link!

DAMMIT, I'M TIRED ENOUGH AS IT IS

Lost will now be on two hours later than its original air-time in Season 1, one hour later from Seasons 2 and the beginning of Season 3.

10 PM ET now, still on Wednesdays, at least!

So there you have it, my dear friends. Now we just have to wait until February 7th. Going forward, I have no idea how I'm going to be able to keep up with 16 episodes straight (that has never happened before, and I've actually really needed the time when they used to show reruns to pull everything together) so I will forewarn you that you are going to have to be patient with me when the show returns. It is going to be tough to balance my commitment to The Man, my attempt to have some semblance of a life, and writing this blog, which usually takes a full 1.5 days on the weekends. But I will do my best!

Until then, once again, Happy New Year,
- e

S3Ep5 - The Cost of Living (Eko's third flashback)

Hello my dear friends -

The boards were filled with nothing less than HATE this past week after the demise of our favorite bad-ass priest. I was actually quite overwhelmed... I would say at least 80% of the messages I read were some form of cursing the writers/producers at ABC, swearing off the show, or incoherent rambling and swearing. That was very annoying to me as I was simply trying to search for ideas/theories that actually mattered. How many different ways can fans say "Damn you for killing off Eko!?!?!" I will tell you - very, very many.

Anyway... while I didn't think the episode was that great, I certainly didn't think it was horrible, but I admit that I wasn't all that moved by Eko's death - call me cold. If anything I was more interested in the fact that he DIDN'T apologize or repent and then got the smack-down from Smokey, over whom he had previously emerged triumphant.


THE CORPSE (AND EVERYONE ELSE) WORE WHITE

Remember that crazy Heaven's Gate Internet cult back in the 90s where everyone wore black Nikes and purple armbands and then drank poison on purpose? I got *that* kind of vibe when Benry showed up in his white linen shirt thingy and made Jack put one on. But alas, it was only for Colleen's funeral.

And on top of the "P. Diddy's White Party" dress code, what was up with that strange song they played over the loudspeaker? It was "I Wonder" by Brenda Lee (never heard of it before), and I was assuming it was "Colleen's favorite song" or something like that, but then they never addressed why it was playing, so I thought that made it even more strange.


THE PLIGHT OF BENRY

After Jack called Benry out by mentioning that he had seen his spinal x-rays which revealed a deadly tumor, Benry decides to do a 180 and all of a sudden become all nicey-nicey and teary-eyed while trying to convince Jack to save him. On top of that, he mentions that he found out about his tumor two days before the Flight 815 crash, and had been praying for a miracle and thinks that is why Jack subsequently fell from the sky. I smell a phony.

First off, WHO told Benry he had a fatal tumor? In the past few episodes it hasn't really looked like there were any other good doctors around, much less another spinal surgeon, unless it was the now-deceased Ethan.

Secondly, if you had been praying for a miracle and then think your prayers have been answered by a doctor landing on your island, why would you then kidnap and mentally torture said Miracle Man and try to coerce him into saving you? Why wouldn't you just be nice from the get-go, offer him a house in the fairly modernized Other Village (a step up from the Hatch or the Caves or the Beach Camp) and hope he upholds his hippocratic oath? It just doesn't make any sense. If Benry hadn't started getting all pleading and weepy at the end, perhaps I would've bought it, but it was just not in line with his character, who has always, always, always been in control up until this point. Let's also not forget that he not-so-subtly mentioned that they chose Juliet to be the one to interface with Jack ON PURPOSE because she looked like his ex-wife Sarah. Once again, this all seems more like a mindgame than a real situation.

Therefore, I think that either: 1) the x-rays are NOT Benry's, but now that they know Jack thinks they are, they're playing a mindgame with him, or 2) they are Benry's and Benry is a really, really bad planner and leader and realizes he royally screwed up.

One last thing - how do they know what Sarah looks like? Was that included in Jack's dossier that they somehow got ahold of?



MEDIATE, ALLEVIATE, TRY NOT TO HATE!

Lest you thought the mindgames were over with, Juliet comes back into the picture a la INXS to mess with our heads and Jack's head even further. The video scene was the only universally applauded segment of the entire episode on the boards.

So besides proving that Juliet is either a Bob Dylan fan or had seen "Love, Actually," what did this scene do for us?

This scene made us question whether Juliet is sincere in her scheme to overthrow Benry by enlisting Jack to botch his surgery, or if she is just carrying out an evil plan hatched by Benry himself. Because let's face it, from what we know of Benry, he would just LOVE to run a little experiment to see if Jack would honor his duty as a doctor over his desire to see Benry be punished for making the Lostaways' lives hell.

We also must remember that when Benry showed Jack the BoSox video, he had these ominous words for him: "...And if you listen to me -- if you trust me -- if you do what I tell you when the time comes -- I'll take you there. I will take you home."

DO NOT UNDERESTIMATE A MAN'S DESIRE TO SEE IF HIS TEAM REALLY WON THE WORLD SERIES!!!! On the previews, we see Jack growl, "I want the hell off this island," so perhaps he is going to side with Benry no matter what, because quite honestly, what is Juliet going to do for him? He will have killed a man deliberately, broken his oath as a doctor and possibly ruined his chances of ever getting off the island... for what? To carry out an Others Mutiny? What would be his motivation to help Juliet?

Click here to see Juliet's entire poster sequence, courtesy of my boy humpy.

ARRRRR, STOP LOOKIN' AT ME!

Back on the main island, Locke proves once again that he's "not Jack" by inviting everyone and their brother to come along with him to find Eko. Perhaps he was longing for his hippie camp family again and was trying to spread the love amongst the Lostaways. Unfortunately, pretty much nobody cool took him up on his offer. We needed to suffer through more scenes with The Two New People, who were also stirring up much Hate on the boards. I have to jump on to the Bitterness Bandwagon for this issue, because it is pretty amateur how the writers just tried to force Nikki and Paulo into the forefront of Island happenings. Paulo is completely and utterly annoying, and Nikki just looks ridiculous in her skimpy tank top.

But perhaps worse than anything else was that they USED NIKKI to make my man Locke LOOK DUMB?!?! How DARE they?!?! She had to be all, "Well, there are six TVs and there are six stations so duh I mean there like must be one TV for each hatch - like DUH!" I wanted to reach through the TV and smack her. And to pour salt in the wound, they had to have Locke reply, "Well now I feel really stupid." No, Locke... nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! It's not your fault!!! It is TPTB's fault!!!!

A few other comments about the Pearl Hatch scenes...

1) So Desmond obviously can't foresee EVERYTHING... because he didn't know Patch Man was going to appear, nor did he seem to know that Eko was going to kick the bucket and then warn that they would be next. So he is only getting selective visions from the future.

2) Patch Man rocks! He was much scarier and cooler the first time around when I probably caught three feet of air off of my recliner after seeing him in the preview the week prior. It still had a little "when-Joaquin-Phoenix-saw-the-alien-on-TV-in-'Signs'" vibe to it, though. The main theories on the boards about who Patch Man is include:
a) He is Radzinsky, Kelvin's hatchmate prior to Desmond. Even though Kelvin CLAIMED that Radzinsky went crazy and shot himself through the head, we do not know that for a fact. We do know that Radzinsky painted the hatch map so he therefore had knowledge of the other locations outside of the Swan. We were also told that it was Radzinsky who edited out certain sections of the Orientation video tape, for reasons unknown. In the same crate where Eko found the fake Bible which hid the missing videotape, he also found a glass eye. All these things make this the most prominent and logical theory.
b) He is related to Alvar Hanso.
c) He is part of a third group of Others, and that group controls Smokey.
d) He is a member of Danielle's original group.

For whatever reason, everyone seems to think that Patch Man is in The Flame station, which was "left of the Swan" in the hatch map. I'm not sure why this seems to be the conclusion... but probably because the Swan is blown up, the Arrow (Ghetto hatch) had no computers in it, they were already in The Pearl, and the girls had seen the Caduceus hatch emptied out. That doesn't leave many choices.



BAD TO THE BONE

Eko's flashbacks served to confirm that he WAS, IS and ALWAYS WILL BE one bad-ass mofo and he is not going to apologize for it. After Yemi was shot and taken into the plane o' heroin instead of Eko, Eko started his life as a faux priest, all the while scamming a way to get outta dodge as quickly as possible.

But before doing so, he had to make absolutely sure that we all knew what a "bad man" he was by killing three drug lords who were terrorizing his village (justified, in my mind) and then planning to sell desperately needed vaccines to his old drug buddies (ok... that one's bad). His plan was foiled by a village woman who told him hat they didn't want his kind around there, and proceeded to board up Yemi's church that Eko had made unholy with his killings. Hence, Eko "owed Yemi one church," which explains why he was building one on the island.

AN ANSWER, PEOPLE!!!! AN ANSWER.

Nevermind the fact that we still have no idea how the plane o' heroin with Yemi in it ALSO ended up on the Island...


While running deliriously through the jungle reminiscing about his big pimpin' lifestyle, Eko realizes that he doesn't really regret anything he's done... in fact, he would do it all over again if he had the chance. Because he is GLAD he saved his brother and if that meant that he had to turn into a drug-running murderer for the rest of his life, so be it. In his final face-off with Fake Yemi, Eko defiantly refuses to repent, and that doesn't make Fake Yemi very happy.

SMOKEY STRIKES AGAIN!


Extremely bad CGI effects aside, I thought the Smokey Attacks! scene was very cool. Because I LIKE the supernatural aspects of the show and the less something can be explained, the better, as far as I'm concerned.

Previously, Eko had a stare-down of sorts with Smokey, in which we saw images from his life flash within the black cloud. That scene, combined with the fact that in this episode Fake Yemi confirmed that he was not actually Eko's brother reincarnated ("You speak to me as if I am your brother...") , has led most people to the conclusion that Smokey can shape-shift into various things. People think that everything from Jack's Zombie Dad to Kate's black horse to Hurley's friend Dave was probably actually Smokey in hindsight. Some people thought that since Jack's dad's body had disappeared from the coffin and since Yemi's body had also disappeared from the plane, that Smokey could only take the form of a body it had "found." I don't buy that theory because Eko also saw the three dudes he killed in the church, yet their bodies were never on the island.

A second theory is that in their initial encounter, Smokey was downloading images from Eko's life to use against him later. We found out that when Locke saw Smokey in Season One, it only showed him a "white light," which most people took to mean that Locke is truly a "good person." So perhaps there is nothing that The Island/Smokey can use against Locke in the future.

We received another answer in Eko's death scene. "The monster" and Smokey ARE one in the same. Before, we were not sure if "the monster" (who killed the pilot of Flight 815 and was known to roar and shake trees) was the same thing as Smokey, since we could not figure out how Smokey could actually kill anyone. It has been confirmed by the producers that they are the same thing. Check that one off the list!

It is not yet understood, however, why Smokey sounds like it is making mechanical noises (to me it sounds like being cranked up a hill on a rollercoaster). We also don't understand why Danielle had previously referred to it as a "security system for the island." One theory is that Smokey was originally meant to be some sort of security system for the Dharma Initiative, keeping any random island dwellers away from the project hatches, but then something went wrong. It is widely believed that the real name for Smokey is "Cerberus," as noted on the Hatch Map, where it is also noted that there was a "Cerberus malfunction." Perhaps what we are dealing with with Smokey is the much-dreaded "the invention has taken a life of its own!" scenario. It's alllliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiive!

Another thing that was confirmed by the producers is that Smokey is NOT (they repeat NOT) made up of nanobots. Thus destroying another fantasy of mine. Oh, well.




"BUT EKO, YOU COMPLETE ME!"

R.I.P. Mr. Eko... you of the very few words, you of the slobbery crying, you of the chin pigtails. Who will stare soulfully at your cross necklace? Who will be chosen to wield your mighty Jesus Stick? Who will play ying to Locke's yang?

No one will. For Mr. Eko cannot be replaced.

But let it be known that Eko died on his own terms, with a smile on his face. And he didn't pass on to the Big Island in the Sky without imparting one last disturbing warning to Locke:

"You're next."

The producers say that we as viewers need to decide if Locke interpreted Eko's words correctly. As in, did Eko mean that LOCKE was next, or did he mean that the collective group standing there (Desmond, Sayid, Paulo, Nikki AND Locke) was going to face the wrath of Smokey? Locke chose to pass on the message as "WE'RE next," but obviously Eko probably actually said, "You're next."

There is another way to interpret Eko's words... it doesn't have to mean "you're next... to DIE" - it could mean "You're next - to be judged."

Finally, some people think that Bernard must now be marked for death because all of the other Tailies have bit the dust. But that is not so... Cindy, the two kids and the other people the Others originally took from the Tailies' camp are still out there somewhere, and the producers promise that their whereabouts will be addressed this season. Although it IS weird that we haven't seen Bernard or Rose all season... And to that complaint, the producers promise once again that they WLIL get "back to the main characters" when the show returns in the winter. Let's just pray that means that Sayid will actually get some air time once again!



TRAFFIC VIOLATION OR DIVA BEHAVIOR?

Escaping the island for a few minutes... of course it was a huge joke that AAA, the actor who plays Eko, got kicked off the show shortly after receiving a traffic violation in Hawaii (it was NOT for drunk driving a la Libby and Ana Lucia, and he actually was cleared of the charges). However, it actually had nothing to do with that... the producers insist that AAA, similarly to Michelle Rodriguez (Ana Lucia), had only wanted a year-long contract. They thought it would be too much to kill Eko off at the same time as Ana and Libby, so they strung it out to the third season.

More gossipy sources have a different take... from TV Guide: "It's no secret that Adewale wasn’t the most beloved cast member. Per multiple sources, the 39-year-old actor had become an increasingly difficult presence on set, refusing to film scenes as scripted, insisting on rewrites and even "demanding" several times to be released from his contract."

I think there may be something to the rumor above. From this article, you can tell that AAA is A-OK with leaving the show.

LOST ARTICLE

Here is an article covering a few interesting fan theories.

FROM THE BOARDS
- Finally someone (albeit Benry) commented on Juliet’s resemblance to ex-wife Sarah. Now I am just wondering whether Juliet is testing Jack to see whether he is a “good person”. She is a great addition.
- Eyepatch Guy gave me the biggest case of the heebie jeebies since BOB on Twin Peaks. I'll have nightmares for weeks.
- And what was the point of tail section? A season later and all the characters are dead (or MIA in Bernard’s case). I know that the producers keep killing characters so that we don’t get complacent and to instill a real sense of danger. But all its done is shown me not to get too invested in the characters because there is a good chance that they won’t last. I have an inkling that’s not what was intended.
- ABC really hates those who get arrested.
- Are we supposed to believe that, in this case, Lostzilla is really the Hand of God executing its judgment?
- Who was the brother, if it wasn't the brother? What happened to his body?
- R.I.P. Eko. Badass to the end.
- Why do I watch this crap? No really, why?All I want is Charlie dead and I think he will be the last fool standing.
- Two important facts about the Monster -- it appeared to Locke as bright light, and it can apparently shapeshift into human form (Yemi, the guys Eko cut up in the church, etc.). Does this mean that the other apparitions on the island, like Kate's horse, Jack's dad, various flashback characters, have all been the Monster jerking people around?
- Yemi -- the real one -- they were doing an obvious Christ allusion with him (rolling a stone away from an empty tomb) but it's not really obvious why Yemi has to be a 'type of Christ', yet. I think we can guess that the smoky monstery thing can take the form of corpses it finds -- Jack's dad, Yemi -- and then turns into a vengeful Old Testament Jehovah thing.
- Anyway...I thought that was a damned good episode. It seems the writers finally figured out that all of the "OOH THE ISLAND IS ALL ABOUT SCIENCE!" stuff was absolutely worthless bollocks and have started moving back to the Big Island of Terrifying Shit. Amen. I'm surprised they killed off Eko. He was a great character. That smoke monster owned the f-ck out of that guy. "RAWWWRR SMOKE FIST SMASH. SMOKE FIST DESTROY!" Speaking of Smokey the Murderous Puff...are we all in agreement that it takes on human form now too? Yemi was really YemiWithSmokeFlavoring, right? It actually explains a lot in my eyes.The Clorox Blacklight map says that "Cerberus"(Smokey) has been malfunctioning for some time. So my theory is that while it used to be a security system, it went wacko somehow and now thinks that it's The Punisher/Judge Dredd. It scans people to see if they have done bad things (dunno how) and if they are "guilty"...well...it punishes their ass. Harshly.
- Locke=awesome, Desmond=hot and awesome, flashback=awesome. I'm glad Eko stood up for himself and his decisions. He was totally right. His death was dignified and suitable for his character. Not to mention his last words, which were kind of chilling. I was pleasantly suprised because I was expecting something forced and sentimental.
- This occurred to me as well. Could it even be that Ol' Smokey is masquerading as one of the main characters (Bernard, for example)?
- When Yemi and Eko walked off together in the "afterlife" it reminded me forcibly of the end of Gladiator when Russell Crowe is finally reunited with his son and wife in the Elysian Fields. Yeah, I admit I got a bit choked up, both times.
- I would have loved it if Juliet had included a few shots of herself holding signs reading, "Jack's in the basement/ mixing up the medicine..."
- What? No! You can't kill Eko! HE WAS SUPPOSED TO PRESIDE OVER SAWYER AND KATE'S WEDDING! Or maybe I'm just imagining things. Rest in peace, Eko. You were the most badass priest out there.
- The Others sure know how to throw a classy funeral. That's how I wanna go.
- Re: Smoke Monster as Elephant - I actually thought it looked a bit more like a wooly mammoth, but that's just being nitpicky. If you go back and watch, it is clearly taking the form of some kind of pachyderm, so the "fist" that slams Eko would actually be a trunk. Fine distinction, but maybe one worth discussing - remember that the Smoke Monster also functioned as a snake when it grabbed Locke.
- I can't believe that after 2.5 seasons we're still having this discussion. I thought it was obvious that the Smoke Monster was a hologram with physical energy and substance, designed on the concept of Room 101 of 1984 (George Orwell) where it's different for each individual based in this case on what haunts them the most. So to me that means it is probably the horse from "What Kate Did" [I think]. I don't think that the monster is necessarily the "worst thing in the world" but more accurately is sort of like in the movie "Solaris" in that it reads your mind and "feeds" off your thoughts to create the embodiment of something that may be real, may be imagined, may be from your past, or may be allegorical, but that generally represents something that haunts you, even if subconsciously.
- A Cheeseburger in Paradise?
- I don't think Eko said, "You're next," to Locke. I think he told him, "Whatever you do, don't get arrested..."
- Does anyone think that Eko's death would have been about ten times better if we hadn't seen the ridiculous smoke monster CGI? Imagine, Eko runs into the forest after his refusal to repent scene, we then cut back to Locke and company, who hear the smoke monster, and then come up to a dying Eko. The stupid CGI ruined what should have been an incredibly meaningful moment. - Quite the opposite, I loved the scene. As someone mentioned way-back, I'm not sure how people can slate the CGI on the smoke-monster because, having never seen one, for all I know that's exactly how a shape-changing, mechanical-sounding, judgement-giving smoke-monster would kill its prey! I also like that we're seeing more and more of the monster - in the pilot, we saw little, just heard it. Then when Locke was taken, we saw the smoke. Then with Eko first time round, we saw the smoke AND the imagery. Now, we see the smoke AND its physical qualities, and get implications that it can either 'morph' into other shapes, or at least convince others that another shape is present. Maybe next time we see the smoke monster, we'll actually see it morphing into the hallucination (in fact, this time, with all the close-ups on Yemi after the "you speak to me as if..." speech, I was expecting him to 'poof!' into the black smoke. But hey!).
- On a shallow note, Jack's workout scene was a thing of beauty, as was the shirtlessness that followed. Both proved that Matthew Fox isn't nicknamed "Foxy" for nothing.
- I wonder if Charlie gets custody of the Jesus stick. Heroin + Jesus stick = one badass hobbit. Desmond better watch out.
- I missed Sawyer but at least he didn't get the crap beat out of him this episode. No Kate. YAY! My hatred of her burns like the fire of a thousand suns.

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS...

See all the dolls!

NO BEST LINES THIS TIME...

I depend on two different sites that typically post episode transcripts each week on Sunday... and neither posted the transcript for "The Cost of Living" this week for some reason. Hence, I cannot provide the "Best Lines of the Episode" as I normally do because I do not have time to rewatch the episode and take funny lines down. However, I remember when I was watching it live that I thought it was absolutely hilarious when Benry started telling Jack his tale of woe and all Jack could do was respond, "Uh, do you mind if I eat this cheeseburger??"

ONE IS THE LONELIEST NUMBER

So we are down to the "fall finale." I saw two full minutes of it (don't ask, I fell off the Spoiler Wagon) and if nothing else, those two minutes were awesome, so I have high expectations...

11/8/06 - I Do - U.S. preview, and Canadian preview (they show different scenes)

2/07/06 - Not in Portland

That's right, February 7th is when our beloved show will return to us. I have been surprised by how many people I've been talking to who did NOT know about the hiatus. Hello!?!?! Have you not been paying attention to this blog?

So, next week's will be the last write-up for a while. Although I realize that every week so far we've been saying "Next episode looks GOOD" and it hasn't necessarily been, I really do think the "mini-finale" will leave us with a lot to talk about.

Until then,
- e